Rough Life*

I've been slacking

2011-03-18T20:14:00.000-06:00

I started this blog to record. I couldn't find any 40 year olds preparing to full time. I am a 40 year old wanting to full time. I, initially, thought I had a job I could take to full time. Now I know that is not true. All the 4G they promised is not meeting up with my requirements. I can promise 30 min. each day from here. My entries may be short or pointless or full of grammar errors, but I will give some post each day.

More adventures in doggie In's & Outs

2011-03-02T06:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we followed the output of the old lady doggie. Her urinalysis was still too diluted. Today, we start to monitor her input. Vet wants to know how much water she will drink a day. This becomes an issue when there are 2 dogs and 2 waterbowls in the house. Good thing is that the other dog is pretty smart and a lot less OCD about his food and water. Here I sit, next to the water bowl that is filled with a carefully measured amount of water. I've already had to holler at the smart dog once, for drinking from the bowl. He thinks I'm crazy (and he's right) but he'll figure it out. If you have any suggestions how to best monitor this... please let me know. Vet wants average daily water ingestion per day, over several days. I'll keep you posted.

"Who Let the Dogs Out?" I did!

2011-03-01T05:34:00.001-07:00

Thursday was annual check up day for the crazy dogs. Man, those little critters are expensive !! I also learned that my mixed breed dog is older than I thought. I adopted her from a shelter, and they had some old records. She's 11 years old. My loud, pushy, not so bright, doggie is an old lady too. So we did some extra, old lady labs. This included a urinalysis. All the lab results were fine except her urinalysis had a specific gravity that was low. Vet wanted a sample of her first morning urine to re-check the result. Approximately 45 minutes ago, found me following the old lady around with a pie plate. Me, in my sweats. Her, on a leash, really needing to pee. SUCCESS!!! I think we're all a little crazy this morning. I really didn't think I would be able to do it. I laughed at the vet when she called to ask for the sample last night. I'll keep you posted.

Hope all is well out in blogland. Things are going swimmingly here. I working on modifying my RV plans. Being unemployed for so long put a little crimp in my financial planning.

Ma'am, your ignition cylinder failed

2011-02-22T07:07:00.000-07:00

Don't even get me started about the fact that he called me ma'am :0)

Car was still under warranty, fixed in less than a day and the dealership provided me a car while it was in the shop. Sounds good, Right?

Now let’s look at it from my perspective. Thursday night, I get off work around 1830 (late patient) and go to pick up the dogs. Tired dogs into the car without trouble. I decide to stop and get dinner on the way home. It’s about 1845 now. I pull into the Qdoba parking lot and…. The key will not turn. Damn car will not turn off. Can’t get key out of the ignition. NOW WHAT? This car has not given me a bit of trouble since I bought it. Even does pretty well on the snow. Maybe it won’t let me turn it off because I’m trying to get junk food for dinner? I drive over to the Natural Grocers…. No Dice. Tired dogs are getting a little miffed, they want to get home & fed as well. Please note, I do not play the helpless woman very well. If the thing had stalled, wouldn’t start, or even blown up, I’d know what to do. But it won’t turn off. The key is stuck solid. I run through the gears, jiggle away, no dice. I can’t just park it in the garage and deal in the morning, I’ll gas us out of house and home. Minor detail, the thing has those automatic headlights, If I leave it running until it runs out of gas, I’ll kill my battery. I am absolutely baffled. Out of options, I decide to take the car back to the dealer where I bought it. Luckily, it’s kind of near where I am and it’s still open. I pry my fingers off the stearing wheel. Every cell of my body does not want to leave a car running in the parking lot with the keys in it. I'm looking particularly baffled and helpless. Used car salesmen get a bad rap. My salesman was there, he came out to see what was up. He didn't have to, he didn't know it was still under warranty (neither did I for that matter). They already had my money and this car was truly no longer their problem. He found someone to come pull a fuse so the car would stop, and fiddle with it a little. That key was not coming out, no matter what they did. Within 1.5 hours.... I had a car to drive and was assurred they would handle it in the morning. They made sure I had my other keys, the garage door opener, and even moved my snow brush into the new car. I won't forget to mention that they decided to ask forgiveness, instead of permission in regards to putting the sleepy dogs into the car I was "test-driving" overnight.

Conclusion: If anyone needs a new or used car come see Dan Nelson at Ed Bozarth Chevrolet in Aurora, CO.

Hope all is well out in blogland. I'm learning to enjoy my new job and live on a lot less money. Take care.

What's more Fun than A Steelers/Packers Superbowl?

2011-02-06T16:45:00.001-07:00

Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl VII. :0) LOL My usual plan is to flip back & forth between the two but the puppy bowl is the BEST this year. Put a bunch of adoptable puppies (17-20 weeks) on a mini football field with a few football dog toys, and put a waterbowl cam at one end of the field. Give them all names, and add a silly commentator with a referee. Make sure you have your chapstick. You will laugh/smile so much that your face will hurt and your lips will crack :0) Let's not forget the pilot hamsters observing the whole thing from a blimp above the field LOL

More Indications, I may be getting older...

2011-02-06T12:09:00.000-07:00

I had heard of the Apple Store. On T.V. there are passing references. We all know I'm a big T.V. fan. I had occasionally heard of how awesome the customer service was. I've always been in the Microsoft camp. I drank the Bill Gates kool-aid long ago and I don't tend to look elsewhere if it's working for me. I continued using my Walkman until I realized cassettes wore out when I played them over & over (I listen to the same books on tape again & again). I never used a portable cd player.  When the 'big' Ipod came out (20GB), and the price became reasonable, I jumped on the bandwagon. My Ipod is filled with all my favorite books on tape. I listen to it every night. I keep waiting for Mr. Gates to come out with something as good, but they can't do it (I've got the Zune.... it's a poor substitute).   My iPod has a metal case, it has been dropped, scratched, thumped and used nightly for years.  2 years ago, my iPod quit holding a charge. So, I got another used one and decided to get the battery replaced in my original. Not an easy thing to do. So it sat & sat. Sat on the shelf where things sit that need to be fixed. Recently, my 'new' iPod has been keeping less of a charge.   Apple will replace the battery if I mail it to them. I never got around to mailing it to them. Batteries Plus will replace it but I would have to leave it at the store for a few days. I had a day off and decided to check out the Apple store. The Apple store staff are very attentive and there are PLENTY of them. They were very patient, and very tech savy. I brought out my iPog 20 GB photo and the boy held it with awe. "Wow! You've got one of these? I've only seen pictures" The kind young man ordered my part and said he would call me when it came in. Then I could bring in my old iPod and trade it for a refurbished one. They sent me an e-mail and called my 2 days later, to say my part was in.    Yesterday, I went to pick it up. There was a group of 3 employees that gathered around to see my metal iPod. As if they were looking at a rare relic. They each hefted it, and looked at it. "I didn't know we had any of these anymore". One girl reminisced, "I had one of these once, it was my first, but it was stolen". I finally said, "oh come one, It's not THAT old". The boy looked at me and gently said. "They haven't sold them since 2005?"

I am now the owner of a bright, shiny, refurbished iPod, for the price of the battery only.  I would say I agree that the Apple Store had great customer service.  But.... BOY HOWDY are the employees YOUNG!!!

Make no mistake. Indications I am getting older, are not a bad thing. I spent many of my young years wanting to be nothing more then older.  To be GROWN, with my own house & money was my goal. I guess I made it. LOL

Things are good here. I even caught myself singing yesterday morning. I find myself smiling more. Thinking of cigarettes less.   Hope the world is treating you all fair. Be gentle with each other.

Catching up - The Brassiere

2011-01-30T10:24:00.000-07:00

Imagine the spam I'll get on this entry LOL. We've all been getting in to the new routine. I hadn't realized how much stress I was under at my old job. When I used to finish work, I was absolutely whipped. Even doing laundry, on my day off, seemed to take a mammoth effort. I spent my days off work, 'getting ready' to go back to work. I began to realize how much of my life had been sucked up by work when a snow storm started on Sunday and I caught myself dreading how much work was going to suck on Monday. In my old job, we would frequently have sick calls on snow days, but the calls about patients kept on coming. I would inevitably log in for a 10 hour day and work like a crazy woman ALL DAY because we were short staffed. Last weekend, the phone rang on Saturday, and the first thought in my head was OH CRAP! what does work want now? Luckily, those problems are no longer a part of my life. I work with kind people that are committed to their jobs, and we work as a team. I feel very lucky that I found this position. I'm slowly feeling the stress fall away, learning about my new job, and getting to know these neat people I work with. In the past, when people have said work "is like a family" it made my skin crawl a little. I'm o.k. with being considered a part of this family :0) The crazy dogs are getting used to going to their day care place more often. We all need to get in better shape. I never imagined that getting ready for work, driving to work and walking around an office occasionally would make me sore. It did make me sore for the first 2 weeks. I received my first paycheck on Friday HURRAY. It's a lot less than I'm used to. I think the quality of life improvement will be worth it.

So let's get down to the catch up. I promised I'd explain my bra adventure and here it goes. Any men reading, I will warn you, it's not about what goes into the bras, only about the item of underwear :0)

Right before I started my new job, it was time to go shopping. I had been wearing, what amounts to, jammies for many years. I had 2 pair of knit pants, with elastic waist, that I would put on with a nice T-shirt when I had to go in to the office. I never wore make-up or did much to my hair. I was going to be working with patients again, and scrubs were not an option at the clinic. I HATE to shop. Let's not even talk about the fact that I've mostly avoided mirrors for the last several years. My mom has a knack for picking clothes that look decent on me, so I took my mom shopping with me. It became painfully obvious, after the first couple of blouses I tried on, that my breasts were not where they needed to be :0) The saleswoman quickly offerred to measure me for a bra. I had a bra on. Obviously it was woefully inadequate. I have not purchased a bra in about 8 years and about 80 pounds. I was an A or B cup and would never wear 'molded cups' (a new phrase in my vocab now) or underwires. I ended up with a DD cup and an item that appears to be more, a piece of equipment, than an item of underwear. I will say that it is comfortable, and it makes my new tops look great. Between you & me, I can't see my feet when I wear it LOL. Another thing I learned. When you first put a bra on, it should be tight. The heat of your body quickly makes the material loosen up. I haven't worn ANYTHING tight against my body for years. It took us about 7 different bras before we found one that fit right. Mom was no help. She has always been the president of the itty bitty titty committee. She is truly flat as a board and I don't think she has ever worn a bra. Well, maybe a padded one, to fill out a nice dress.

I still need to clean out my chest of drawers, to fit my new clothes. Until there is a space for my new bras, they hang in the closet. I laugh EVERY time I see them. Every day, about 0500, there I am, locking things up and bending over to shimmy it all into place. Nothing like starting the work day off with a smile :0)

BEFORE

and

AFTER

Hope all it well out it blogland. I'm working towards fitting regular blogging into our new schedule. I miss talking at ya.

Catching up, Cookies.

2011-01-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

When I last left off, I had just gotten the job I wanted and was off to bake cookies. Everyone got their cookies for Christmas. Choc chip, Oatmeal Raisin and, sugar cookies. That's 3 batches of cookies made with Goodwill purchased equipment, by a non-baker. Come join me on this journey, will you?

BEFORE

AFTER

I found the baskets at Goodwill for 91 cents a piece. Simple, Right??? Not so much. To give you an idea. I grabbed my camera, for the first time since the cookie baking adventure, and it's slimed with cookie dough. I'm still finding chunks of cookie dough on the cabinets in the kitchen. The mixer I found was one of those electric hand mixers. I had to get a big bowl to mix the dough in, and I found a huge plastic one. Plastic does not make a good mixing bowl, it's not very stable. I'll tell you, that hand mixer is powerful. It can fling flour and dough further than I would have ever imagined. Maybe I can start a 'Punkin Chunkin' type event.
I started with the sugar cookies, figuring they would be the easiest:

Red sugar ended up everywhere even though I tried to only use it over the sink.

Can you see the small chunks of dough all over?? The goofy dogs weren't sure what to think, they aren't used to seeing me in the kitchen. They did help keep the floor clean.

And here are the oatmeal raisin cookies I promised.

Notice I went through 2 rolls of paper towels :0)

Here are the keepers:

They weren't fabulous. The sugar cookies were a little too sweet and the choc chip cookies were probably not cooked quite enough. They did have lots of love in them, and family was generous with their praise. Got all my Christmas gifts in for under $75 and some good fun was had by all. I'll say, if I have the choice, I'd rather have a job so I can spend a little more money and buy gifts. That was how I spent my day before Christmas Eve :0) Only took 6 hours to make 3 batches of cookies. I think I'll keep my day job (now that I have one). There is not a closet baker, inside me, fighting to get out.

Settling in

2011-01-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

Dogs and I are getting in to our new routine. If I may say... this whole bra thing is just bizarre! More on that later :0) I promise to get the blog all caught up this weekend.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-12-31T22:08:00.002-07:00

Things are great here. Dogs are sleeping! Christmas with the family went well. Cookie baking was a fiasco. I have pics I'll post soon. Now, just getting ready for the new job. I hate to shop!

I hope the New Year finds you all safe and well. Be gentle with each other. I'm so thankful you are here.

Let's All Do the "WE're employed" dance

2010-12-21T11:47:00.000-07:00

Just got off the phone and immediately jumped up to wiggle around the house and dance with the doggies. BEST CHRISTMAS PRESENT EVER!!! Thanks for hanging in here with me Blogland!
Thanks for all the prayers and crossed fingers and good thoughts. HURRAY FOR US! I Got the Job I Wanted Most!! YEAH!!!! Time to start off on another path!! HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!! Tomorrow, I start my cookie baking adventure! I'll get pics and let you know how it goes.

drum, drum, drum, (can you hear my fingers tapping?)

2010-12-20T10:20:00.000-07:00

The second interview went very well. I really like the people I would be working with. Good vibes!! It just felt like a place I would like to be. The boss said they would let me know today. They checked my references on Friday. If I stare at the phone, can I will it to ring?

One Baby Step Forward

2010-12-16T14:07:00.000-07:00

Second interview for the research job today. The more people I meet and the more I learn about the job, the more I want it. They are so warm & friendly. Hopefully, my enthusiasm for the job will win them over. They said they would let me know on Monday. Thanks for all the crossed fingers, good thoughts, positive vibes, and prayers. Keep it up!

Christmas Decorating

2010-12-14T13:07:00.000-07:00

I had a nice time with my mom. The first time I have gotten to decorate with her for many years. The dogs got to spend the day in the back yard and were DOG tired when we got home :0) We bought some of the new LED Christmas Tree lights. They are multi-colored and very bright. I'm sure the tree will look fabulous once the sun goes down.

Here is my favorite Christmas decoration of all time. She has been at every Christmas. The run in her wings is something I did, when I was playing with her (many years ago). If I wind up the bottom, she plays silent night and spins slowly. One of those things that has had a place in my Christmas forever. If she could talk, I'm sure she would have some stories. Then again, her eyes are closed. Her stories might be from an unusual perspective :0)

I finished my second interview for the home health job yesterday. I went to my first interview for the research job yesterday. I really want that research job! I have my second interview for the research job on Thursday. The weather is FABULOUS today. Days like this remind me how much I like living in Denver. I'm feeling great, it's just that pesky lack of income thing that is bugging me a little :0) I will commence cookie baking on Monday. I'll get pics and keep you posted. Keep your fingers crossed for the research job!

This will be the first time, in many years, I have had ALL the holidays off (Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas, New Years Eve & New Years day). At my old job, we had to pick which two holidays we could have off and work the others.

Beautiful weather today so I can open the windows
Happy dogs
Netflix to keep me entertained.
Fabulous family and time off to enjoy them.
Options, options, options!!!

Movie Day

2010-12-08T14:37:00.000-07:00

Had a great time at lunch on Monday. I do miss my friends from the old job. Everyone is so busy, I keep in touch with them when I can. I have interview for a research job on Monday. I am an excellent fit for this job, I hope they realize it. I've decided I would rather work for less money and less stress. Fingers crossed.

Today I'm watching movies from Netflix while I wait for the phone to ring. I love a good action flick. I saw "The Expendables" today. I enjoyed all the comedy and special effects action. Because it's a Sylvester Stallone, I had to turn on the captioning to understand all the jokes :0) Lot's of big booms, Gore and Fireworks. Good ole Stallone movie. The other movie I watched was Shrek 2. Was o.k., but not my favorite animated movie.

Tomorrow, the pups and I will go to help mom put up Christmas decorations. Since I'm not working, I can do things like that. There are silver linings. I will try to get some pics for you.

Trash pick-up so I don't have to haul everything to the junk yard
Warm house. It's cold & dreary hear today.
Nicotine lozenges so I don't have to smoke.
Love my family! that love me back.
Goofy, silly, stinky dogs :0)

Getting my Own Health Insurance

2010-12-06T11:06:00.000-07:00

I have learned things during my unemployed time. I thought it would be true that if I had trouble with money, on the road, I could easily settle in and work a nursing job for a few months. I assumed it would take me less than one month to find such a job, just about anywhere. Now I know that is not true. Good lesson. Now I know that I will need more money in reserves before I go. Since I'm not, yet, medicare age, I knew I would need to get my own health insurance when I was self-employed on the road. During this jobless time, I also sought to get some major medical health insurance. I had been focused on quitting smoking because I knew smokers had to pay about $100 more, per month, for insurance. I'm all about keeping my budget down when I live on the road :0) Something I hadn't realized... obesity is a pre-existing condition. They don't call it that, but I can't get ANY health insurance at this weight. My only option would be to sign up for the high-risk pool, run by CO and set up after the health care reforms were passed. Detail is that they expect you to be a resident of CO for at least 6 mos. And, of course I have to live here. I couldn't sign up for the high risk pool until my COBRA ran out, 17 months from now ($600+ per month). Just a note, I don't have any medical problems associated with my obesity at this time.

I can't really be angry about this. They don't ask me to be tiny. The companies will insure me if I am < 100 lbs over my ideal weight. I'm a nurse, I know this extra weight sets me up for all kinds of medical problems in the future. With the health care reforms, they can't cut me loose once I start having these conditions. As a business decision, I know I would not go in for any of the high dollar medical procedures that would be in my future (transplant, cardiac bypass, joint replacement surgery, prolonged treatment for cancer etc.) but they don't know that. I had planned to be < 200 lbs before I took off anyway. That only makes sense. This has been a big wake up call. Even if I wanted to leave tomorrow, sell my house and take off in an RV, I would have to go without health insurance OR pay $600 per month for insurance that would only cover me in CO (which does not seem reasonable). I'm learning why there are so many uninsured people in the U.S. Even people that are responsible, intelligent, and plan ahead, may make a choice to be without health insurance. Something is wrong with that picture.

I know my weight is my choice and I sure don't want to be one of those winers that sounds like the U.S. owes me a living. I'm not a political person, so I'm not going there. I will live with what is. I will keep hunting for a job that has benefits. A job I can hold while I dump a few of these pounds. I know it will be better for me and my future. I just want to be a little pissed off about it too. The rebelious teenager in my brain is screaming.... OH YEAH? I"LL SHOW YOU!!!! Luckily, the grown up is in charge most of the time :0)

I've had another bite on my resume. It's a job as research coordinator at a nearby clinic/office. I'm hoping for interview this week. I should hear about the home health job by the end of this week.

Today, I have a lunch date with a friend that still works at the call center. I'm looking forward to some office gossip that confirms I was right to leave even though I am still unemployed.

Hope all is well out there is blogland. Be gentle with each other.

Music that makes me smile and keeps my spirits up. Reminds me what matters most
Stinky dogs (they didn't stink until I quit smoking :0)
Dog park nearby to walk in while pups are having fun
Supportive family, that loves me anyway :0)
Good friends

I Love it when a good surprise happens

2010-12-03T12:20:00.000-07:00

I arrived at the interview early. Boy, was I nervous. The manager was very nice and chatty. I liked her. Working for her would be o.k. I also met the office manager. Seems pretty well organized. They have an extensive orientation program and I was glad to hear that. The interview lasted about 2 hours. WOW!! About 10 minutes in to the interview, we realized that the resume she was looking at was not ME. She never received my application. If I hadn't have called, Wednesday, this interview never would have happened. I won't know until the end of next week whether I got the job. My fingers & toes are crossed. I'm excited about getting back to patients. Keep thinking all those good thoughts for me.

I Have an Interview!!

2010-12-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

Cookies I've planned for Christmas are chocolate chip, sugar, & oatmeal raisin! Will be yummy. I'll need to start soon and freeze them if tomorrow's job interview goes well.

This morning, I was following up on some applications I put in 2 weeks ago. On the third call, I made appt for an interview. I was hoping for a dialysis or hospital position. At this point I will settle for someone letting me actually touch a patient. Interview is with a national home health agency. I have lot's of questions for them. I've done home health before, many years ago. It's not a bad gig if I can find the right company.

Everybody keep fingers crossed, keept me in your prayers. However you roll :0) .... I thank you!

Hope all is well out there in Blogland. Be gentle with each other.

ability to save money when a had a good income
new car (toad) that will make a home health job possible (I couldn't have reasonably done it in a truck)
internet to keep me connected and let me find jobs.
music that helps me to believe in myself and make these calls to sell myself.
cheese/broccoli/chicken that made a good lunch

What Does the Asterisk Mean?

2010-11-30T15:07:00.000-07:00

I spent the morning working myself up to make the call about how wonderful I am, only to leave a voice mail. So, now I have to stay pumped up until she calls back :0) Getting clean sheets today. Made rounds at the thrift stores, to get cookie making equipment, yesterday.

Andy at RV-Adventure bound has suggested us WannaBe full time RVers should put an "*" by our title until we actually make it on the road. I don't see any reason not to.. So, that's what I did. Any problems, let me know.

Hope all is well out there is blogland. Be gentle with each other.

Netflix and TV for free entertainment in my broke state
Only $25 for mixer, bowls, and cookie sheets to make Christmas presents.
Inspirational music to get me pumped to sell myself.
Good friends and family to soothe my anxious soul
Warm house

So, Here's The Plan

2010-11-28T09:13:00.000-07:00

Famous last words!! I need to do something! I've resorted to sorting mismatched socks.

Thanksgiving went fine, excellent food and good company. I love how supportive my family is. I could tell them my plan was to paint myself purple & live naked. They'd nod & smile. Never were to sure what to do with me. As long as I am supporting myself, staying out of jail, and not hurting anyone they are all good :0) In my time off..... I've cleaned & sorted every stich of clothing I own. Cleaned off my desk, Sorted & stacked the shoes in the entry closet, and made a good attempt at picking up my unfinished basement. I've quit smoking, and lost 10 pounds. Best of all, the box of mismatched socks that sits on top of my dryer has been sorted :0) This is the pile of socks that still have no mates. Still one of the great mysteries of life. I am single, don't travel much, and I do all my own laundry. How could I have this many single socks? Where do they go. They don't leave the house unless they are on my feet. I'd blame it on the dogs, but they don't eat socks. Here is the silliest thing. After I matched up what I could, I put the singles back in the box! Why not the trash??

It has become obvious that I need to do something. Spending this much thought on mismatched socks..... it's got to be a sign. Monday, or probably Tuesday, I'm calling a real live person at the local teaching hospital. I am going to explain to this person what a fabulous nurse and employee I am. I am going to review with him/her that I have awesome nursing experience and that I am brilliant! I am going to tell him/her that I will work as a new graduate nurse, same pay, same requirements, but I will be a mature nurse with lots to offer. If he/she does not find a way to take me up on this win/win offer... I will decide they are idiots and move on with my life :0) I will take my nurse refresher course, sign up with nursing agencies and be on the road by this summer. I will work contracts for 3 month and be off for 3 months. That way I will still have consistent income and still get to play.

That's my plan!! Written in jello/smoke and I may or may not be sticking to it. I'll keep you posted.

Nursing license
Goofy dogs that love me unconditionally and even 'get' me a little
Music that gives my joy
Warm house
Enough money in savings to give me options.

I hear the Christmas Music Coming!

2010-11-22T09:28:00.000-07:00

Saving money is good for the waist line. I'm sticking with corn, beans & brown rice. But it's getting old. I, had no doubt I would be working by Thanksgiving. Best laid plans.. right? The good thing is that I can now make it to Thanksgiving dinner with family. REAL FOOD! Good for the budget too... I won't be paying. This time I don't even have to clean up. Family has decided to go out for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm using my 'not smoking' money to buy myself treats. I got this new computer game called "Plants vs. Zombies" fun and FUNNY!! If I've got to be unemployed, not a bad way to spend my time. Not very financially responsible to be spending money on fun, when I'm not bringing money in, Oh Well!!

It's quit snowing but it's still cold here.

Spending time figuring out what to do about Christmas gifts. I told everyone, last year, that I was pinching all my pennies in my plan to full-time RV. Last year I gave everyone fudge!! It was yummy. What to do, on the cheap, this year. I'm leaning towards choc chip cookies. Who doesn't love choc chip cookies? I just have to find some sort of mixer to buy/borrow and a way to get cheap cookie sheets/cooling racks. I'll work on it.

Hope all is well in Blogland. Take care and be gentle with each other.

Blogland to keep me feeling connected
RV full-time dream to keep me focused
Crazy dogs that keep me grounded.
Hot chocolate on sale, to put in my morning coffee
Warm house

Yep, The Phone Still Works

2010-11-15T15:58:00.001-07:00

Just realized, from Kelly's comment, that I updated my 'Big Departure Checklist' but forgot to update my profile. I'll get that done as soon as I finish this. Snowing for the third time here. Nothing sticking though. I'm beginning to realize that this job adventure is a good thing. I always thought, that with my RN, there is no way I would go more than a month without a job. I'm finding it a little harder to get back in to direct patient care than I originally thought. Seems the employers are looking for recent (within the last year) hands on experience with patients. Good thing I'm finding this out now. Direct patient care was going to be my fall back (when living in the RV), to make money, if medical transcription did not bring in enough $$. Would have been pretty scary if I was living on the road, running out of money, and ran into this trouble. This weekend I started putting in apps for temp & part time RN jobs. I'm just not getting calls back. It's weird, not being able to put in applications face to face. It feels like I'm throwing applications & letters into the wind. Even checked the phone today, to make sure it was still working :0) We're o.k. financially for about another month. Back up plan is that I can start back at the call center after Jan 23rd. I could work, part time, at the call center and start an RN refresher course that will take $2,000 and 2+ months. There is always phone sex worker...... 0.30 cents a minute. I'm just not sure I could do it with a straight face :0) HMMM which is worse..... Phone sex or back to the Call Center?? Now there's a question I just don't even want to contemplate right now (insert big eye roll here) LOL

So, on crazy dogs. I believe that dogs can be trained, to a point, but sometimes I just have to give up and train myself. There is a sliding glass door in my bedroom. One dog loves to get his head in the curtains and stare out the window. That would be fine, except he goes bats*(* whenever anyone walks by. My first step was to sew the curtain panels together. So he found a way under the curtains :0) This has been going on for a couple of years. Remember, I've previously said that I make changes and decisions slowly :0)

I've been trying to keep myself busy, while not smoking (there are only so many showers I can take Merikay lol). I've been cleaning up my unfinished basement. I found these folding, plastic, spikey mats, that I had evidentally purchased sometime in the past. THEY WORK AWESOME!! Crazy dog is a little peaved with me, but he's staying out of the curtains! Today, I'm putting one on the bed. The other crazy dog likes to pull down the bedspread and sleep on my pillows, ARGH!! I'm o.k. with her on the bed, I just want her to stay off my clean sheets!! I'll keep you posted.

In summary... I'm unemployed but not broke yet. Loosing weight and not smoking. Keeping my house picked up and my laundry clean. Just need to find a job that doesn't make me want to smoke and eat!! Should be a doable goal.

Hope all is well out there. Take care and be gentle with each other.

(so back to counting stuff I'm thankful for)

Training myself to save money when I was still employed.
Crazy dogs are ongoing, live-in entertainment
Warm place to sleep/stay when it's cold and yucky outside
Family that has offerred to pay for the RN refresher course if I need it
Internet access so I can feel in touch with the rest of the world :0)

P.S.

2010-11-11T08:47:00.001-07:00

In the mindset of keeping my eye on the prize!! I updated my BIG DEPARTURE CHECKLIST. I got to check off quite a few things!! BIG SMILES!!!

Dreamin' Dreamin'

2010-11-11T08:40:00.001-07:00

When I get a little down or I need to find some cajones, I watch my 2 favorite underdog movies. "G.I. Jane" and "Rudy". These movies always get my heart racing and give me a smile. Demi Moore, in GI Jane, plays a woman that gains respect against all odds then moves on to fight the political machine so she can finish her job.

Rudy is a fictionalized account of a true story. A guy who's got no business trying to play football or go to Notre Dame, does both of them.
He has moments of feeling sorry for himself, but overcomes it with the help of angels (so to speak). Both of the movies are campy and even a little hokey but I LOVE them. Happy endings are my thing :0)

When I get really desperate, I watch "Finding Nemo" :0) always good for a smile and a few giggles.

So, the other thing I do to keep my spirits up is search for RV's I could purchase now & take off. You know, those $6,000, 20 year old class A's that pop up on craigslist. There is a pink (interior and exterior) 34 foot, Pace Arrow, that fits the bill right now. WOW, I'm sure that would be an adventure LOL. Especially this time of year. But it is fun to think about.

Changes, changing, changed

2010-11-10T12:43:00.000-07:00

How I have gotten complacent. Not challenging myself. Not physically or emotionally. My job was great but I was stagnant. This job hunt is challenging. I'm having to relocate & rev up my brain and my confidence. Convincing people that I am a good nurse, a strong nurse, and an excellent employee is new. Reminding myself to stop & listen. Listen & learn. Find my humility. These are good lessons no matter what. Lessons that I want to hang on to and keep for my RV adventure. I think I will be much more fun to hang out with once I have done this :0) I'm excited about the challenges that await me. I'm also a little scared for the change. Excitement is starting to trump scared :0) I've only made it to phone interview so far. Hopefully, I'm getting better at convincing them of my skills. I'll keep you posted.

3 weeks is my limit

2010-11-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

Sitting on my butt tolerance = 3 weeks. I am recovered and ready to move on. Still waiting for some lab results so I can go sign up with the nursing agencies. All is well here.

"Life is a long lesson in humility" - James Matthew Barrie

2010-11-04T10:39:00.000-06:00

I love Merikay's comment - Breathe Deep. Walk the dogs. Dream of the future! I did that. Went to my happy place, the planet of happy dogs, at the dog park. We have the best dog park EVER here at Cherry Creek State park. I hadn't been there in some time. All the plants and trees are shutting down for the winter. I'm sorry that I forgot my camera, no pictures :0( Happy dogs make me smile and laugh. For me, laughing fixes just about anything. I also got to talk to some other people enjoying happy dogs. It was a good time, I will go back soon and get you some pictures.

The title of this post is a quote I found while I was looking for inspiration. I am so excited (and scared) about moving on to try something new. I find myself saying things that I regret. My mouth has always gotten me into trouble, I thought it was improving as I got older. I catch myself saying sentences that end "... but that was eleven years ago" That statement is not helpful to anyone and makes me look like a fool. I'm going in search of my humility. Breathing deep and reminding myself that I am no longer in a senior role. I am here to listen and be receptive. My purpose is to study and learn and carefully progress. No more teaching or advising for now :0)

$600 Mistake

2010-11-02T10:54:00.000-06:00

Oops, not a good thing to do when I'm unemployed. For some reason, I had it in my little brain that I had work health insurance for 30 days after I left. Not so much! Just found out that my insurance stopped on October 31st. So I spent yesterday figuring out if the lab work I need for agency nursing will cost more than COBRA health insurance. The answer is, about the same. What a different world it is without health insurance. COBRA health insurance is not the most financially fiscal way to go, if I had thought to double check, I would have planned ahead and saved a few hundred bucks. At least I'm not spending money on cigarettes.

On stress. What is it with me??? I know I have enough money to get by for now. I know I will be able to earn more money soon. I know everything will be fine. Why does my brain insist on being stressed out?? I just don't get it. I want to be able to enjoy this adventure. Not sure what to do. For now, I'm going to go fix my mistake and keep putting one foot in front of the other. Hope all is well. Take care and be gentle with each other.

and BREATHE!

2010-10-31T16:50:00.001-06:00

First time in many years that I have had > 7 days off in a row (except for breaking my leg several years ago). This is my 8th unemployed day. I've noticed that all the people I interact with are much nicer. I'm not silly enough to believe that everyone else in the world suddenly changed, it MUST be me. Am I being nicer?? I think so. I know I'm smiling more. It was SO time to leave that job. I am suitably freaked out that I do not have a job yet. I know for sure I will have SOMETHING that pays money within 1.5 weeks. I have checked my bank account repeatedly to re-assure myself that we will be o.k. The money from the truck sale is helping give a little cushion. Unfortunately, my paid off credit card is not so paid off any more. That will get fixed. I am writing cover letters, learning about the changes in job hunting over the last 11 years, and getting all my paperwork together for the temp nursing agencies. I was going to try to get scrubs from GoodWill or ARC but I wated too long. Checked 3 stores Friday and there wasn't much choice because people had cleaned them out for Halloween.

In addition, I've managed to get ALL the dirty clothes off my closet floor. Haven't done that in many months. I'm about to finish the last 2 loads today. I gave up on my camera, found a good sale and got another one. Not a good choice when I don't have any money coming in... Good choice for blogland though. There will finally be pictures back in my blog.

In the spirit of BREATHE... smoking stops tomorrow. This seems a good time. New car that I don't want to smell like smoke and applying for jobs that are not smoking compatible. I don't have to worry about alcohol interference because it's not in the budget. Also, my CPR class confirmed all my worst fears about my current physical condition. It was pitiful. I just can't present myself to patients as a nurse, like this. Besides, one month of cigarettes will pay for that new camera.

So, here we go again!! Last time!! Me & You Together.

Hope all is well. Thanks for hanging in with me while I was maxed out at the end of the job.
Take care and be gentle with each other. I'll keep you posted.

On Bruce and Margie

2010-10-29T11:17:00.000-06:00

I started getting caught up with my bloggers yesterday morning. The first thing I realized was that we had lost some friends. I was so sad, haven't cried that hard in a while. How kind it was for their daughter to get on Margie's blog and get us updated. I was hoping to meet Margie some day and get all her Weight Watcher's RV eating success secrets. Another opportunity missed while I wait to get on the road.

My attitude about death is unusual, and something I don't share with most people. When I get so sad, I know it's sadness for me and for their family. We will miss them. Our lives are diminished without them around for us to touch. There is not an ounce of me that is sad for the dead ones. They've got it made! Joy and giggles are found as I think of what they get to do, and not do, now....

-- Their rig will never break down
-- They never have to dump another tank
-- The weather will never be too hot, too humid, too cold, or too anything.
-- They will never have to fill the rig with gas again.
-- No bumpy roads or rude neighbors
-- No accidents, EVER
-- No insurance to pay or paperwork to deal with.
-- No points to count or dishes to wash
-- No dog poop to pick up
-- They can be anywhere, anytime, as fast or as slow as they want to get there.
-- No unruly crowds or long lines.
-- There will always be a perfect spot for their rig, with a fabulous view and with any hook-ups they want.
-- Money is never a problem
-- No sadness, no worry. Only play and joy and friends and beauty.
-- They get to watch and be with all their family & friends all the time.

I could go on and on. Still writing through tears. I am sad for myself. For all of us that will never get to meet Bruce and Margie in this life. So sad for their family. My prayers and good thoughts are with them.

Phew! Lots of change

2010-10-28T11:56:00.000-06:00

So, I've been officially unemployed for 5 days. I've filled out online applications for 2 local hospitals. I'm just not sure what kind of direct patient care I'm most interested in. I REALLY want a job at the dialysis center. I'm leaning more & more towards agency nursing. I've been working on getting my paper work together. The stuff I will need to get a job agency nursing. There is a little part of me that thinks... I agency nursing works out for me, maybe I could hit the road in 2011 instead of 2012. That makes me giggle a little :0) I just have no idea what I would do with the dogs if I had to go out to work 40 hours per week. I have a daycare place for them here. Could I find that in every other place I work? I'm getting ahead of myself. Spending my days focused on relocating all my marbles. Catching up on housework. This is my second day of laundry. Didn't even realize I had that many clothes. I'm going to take my CPR class this afternoon and I'm going by Goodwill to look for scrubs. I've found my stethescope and my nursing shoes but I need some white socks and new work panties. I know, TMI. The most fun is I get to try some catch up on my blog buddies this morning.

Hope all is well and going smoothly. Take care and be gentle with each other.

Bitter Sweet?

2010-10-24T02:17:00.000-06:00

My last day at the call center. I've had soooo many sweet e-mails. I realize what affect I can have. I've never really understood what bittersweet was until tonight. I will progress and pay my bills and feed my canine family. I will!!!! It will be o.k. I am a fighter... I am working for my dream!!!

Quick Note

2010-10-17T09:48:00.000-06:00

Yee HA! Actually got 7 straight hours of sleep last night. This will be my last day working in the office and the dogs first ride in the new car. Could be an adventure. Also have to get the new car's oil changed & fluids checked for winter. Leaving to do that in about 10 minutes.

Answering questions: List of towable vehicles with all the pertinent info can be found at the motorhome magazine website. They do a "Dinghy Round-up" each year, for the past few years. The articles are in adobe format on the web. Check this link. http://www.motorhomemagazine.com/dinghytowingguide/
Yes, some of the cars are automatics. This is the list I started my hunt with, and the one I kept referring to, during my car hunt.

Take care everyone! Be gentle with each other.

Kind of Still Waiting, Kind of on the Road

2010-10-14T11:45:00.000-06:00

O.k. so I put in my notice at work, and I don't have a job to go to and I just took on a loan and bought a new (to me) car. Sounds like a mess Huh? I know, it sounds like a mess to my inner financial manager I've been working so hard to develop for the last year (remember? me, money management, not my strong point, have to fix that before I go on road.. It's been getting better but now she's got this irritating banshee like wail going on in my head. My mother was never this much of a nag.)

You will have to forgive me, this schedule is still killing me. I get about one day a week when I get a full 8 hours, uninterrupted sleep. I have always known I needed 7-8 hour sleep a night to function well, but I've never gone this long, this sleep deprived. I've found that I become a total, flakey, ditzy, unfocused, tearful, mess when I don't get enough sleep. I was hanging in and waiting for a new job to come through. Needless to say, the descriptors I gave in the previous sentence do not add up to a strong interviewee :0). I haven't gotten any offers. I have some vacation time built up at work, my plan was to request days off here and there so I could hang in there until a new job came through. Then I discovered I had made a mistake. It wasn't a dangerous or horrible mistake. No one was hurt, I'm not sure anyone else even noticed, it was all fine. It wasn't a mistake I ever would have made if I was getting enough sleep. To me, it was a signal, a red flag that it was time to go. I submitted 3 weeks notice the day I found the mistake. So my last day is October 23rd. Since I totally blew an interview (I won't go into details, it involved crying. If the place made me an offer I wouldn't work for them because they are obviously stupid or so desperate they've lost all sense of judgement), I've quit interviewing until I get my schedule back on track. I will be doing agency nursing until something better comes up. That involves lots of flexibility and hard work. Time to dig out the stethescope, nursing shoes and scrubs I haven't used in years. It's not easy work, but it will pay the bills, hopefully the perfect job will come in soon.

In the mean time, I have to get my toad before I leave my job so I will still qualify for a loan. My friends; flaky, crazy and easily distracted were shopping for a toad :0) What a circus. Let's just have a moment of silence for the poor car salesmen I dealt with. My short term memory is useless at this point. Here I am with my list of towable cars, and my edmonds.com evaluations for the cars I'm interested in, trying to explain the the salesman why I could care less about the colors or the options the car has. Also trying to explain that the towable and curb weight part of the equation are deal breakers. So, I pick up my new (to me) car on Friday. The man will pay me for the rest of the truck and pick it up on Saturday morning. My last day of work is one week from Saturday. ARGH!!!!

If you want to check it out, my toad is a 2009 Chevy HHT in dark Grey. Front wheel drive, automatic. It has lot's of cargo space for the crazy dogs and the whole cargo area is covered in hard plastic. Cargo area is big enough that I will be able to haul my bicycle in the car when I'm on the road. It is kind of funny looking, but cute, and it's growing on me. According to edmonds, I got a very fair price on the car.

Counting my Blessings:

Crazy dogs that are as baffled by weird schedule as I am. They make me smile every day
My sense of humor (if you've seen the dog in the movie UP!, I am him these days... SQUIRREL!)
My nursing license that gives me earning power no matter what.

So sorry for long time between posts. I will keep you posted. Hope all is well out there is blog land. Be gentle with each other.

Still waiting...

2010-09-28T04:46:00.000-06:00

Put my app in at a near by hosp on Friday. Confirmed they rec'd it today. Just waiting... waiting... waiting... and trying to maintain what little is left of my sanity, At least I'm medicated LOL (remember the Prozac I got for quitting smoking?). Now I'm medicated and Smoking so all should be right with the world, Right?

Good news: Credit Card paid off. Found a person that wants to buy my old truck for a good price. So in addition to the craziness of this schedule & emotions of switching jobs, I'm hunting for a Toad. I need to get it before I switch jobs since I'll need to finance it. The search helps me to remember what is important and keep my eyes on the prize. I'm just having such a hard time focusing, I have to do it in short bursts. Glad there's lot's of good info out there about it, and it's a buyers market.

In regards to Travel Nursing... That's my back up plan if I can't make enough money doing medical transcription. I like the idea of just working a few hours every day, from the rig, as opposed to commuting to a job for 40 hours per week. Hope all is well out in blog land. I've just barely been able to skim some blogs. Take care and be gentle with each other.

I'm So Upset Now But this will End

2010-09-18T13:27:00.000-06:00

I'm really not one to hold grudges, but I can't get past this new schedule set up at work. I have shifted my sleeping schedule. Trained myself so I can sleep 7-8 hours between 0300 & 1100 every day (even my days off). I'm just miserable and angry. I am truly living to work right now and not much living going on. I had a hard time working this kind of schedule when I was in my twenties, things have not gotten better with time. On days I work, I am working & sleeping & miserable. On days I have off, I'm trying to keep my life intact with laundry, groceries, and giving the crazy dogs attention once in a while. Unfortunately, blogging is not fitting in there. Is part of this feeling sorry for myself? Probably. But it also truly SUCKS. No one should have a permanent schedule like this, except maybe, Keith Richards :0)

Drama is not my thing. I'm putting an end to this. I haven't heard from the job I really want but I have someone inside, hopefully, working for me. I have even offerred to take the job at lower pay, in the beginning, so I can get the training. I'm going to give them 2 weeks to get back to me. That means, two weeks from yesterday, I head out to hospitals near me and put in my application. Stinks that the economy is even affecting nursing jobs. Nurses that have been working only part time or have left nursing, are returning because the major wage earner in the household has lost their job. I never would have thought it would affect nursing, but there you have it.

I've been playing a game called... Better or Worse than the job I have now?? There are truly some jobs that would be worse. Like: Jr. High School Teacher, Parking lot Repaver, Public Gym Janitor, Pediatric ICU nurse. There are others. Can this be today's version of counting my blessings? I am thankful I have what I have. No one is starving, the bills are being paid, and I will have this job as long as I want it. I'm still putting in an honest days work and trying not to bad mouth or gripe about my current job when I'm there. The longer this goes on, more other jobs look better :0)

The short story is that me and the crazy dogs are fine, we're hanging in there. Still planning on full-time by March 2012. I will find you all out there. Hope all is well, I haven't been able to follow blogs recently. Take care and be gentle with yourselves.

Wishing I had more Energy

2010-09-09T10:28:00.000-06:00

I am doing quick update again. I did not get the specific job I was applying for, the manager said he would keep my application on file and let me know if there is another opening. After all the thinking & listing I did, before I applied for the job, I can't go back to the way things were. I want to make the change, back to direct patient care. Luckily, I still have a job, so no one is starving here :0) If I had any doubt, I only have to take my personal test. Ask myself, "If I knew for sure that I would die in 6 months, what would I do different?" The answer is: I would put this house on the market, buy whatever RV I could afford, and hit the road. I can't do that for now, because I don't know for sure. It does tell me I need to make changes as soon as possible. Inertia is a hard thing to overcome. It's so much easier, in the short run, to just keep the status quo. Change takes cojones and energy. I used to have cojones somewhere. I'm working on both :0) Hope all is well out there. Take care and be gentle with each other.

Yes, this May be My first big step.

2010-09-02T12:13:00.000-06:00

Short update! Just got back from interview for the new job. I'm crazy nervous and excited. I think the interview went well but only time will tell. I'm a horrible liar so I was just up front with them about why I am leaving my current job. I'm still on track to start full-timing by March 2012. Current job schedule is still making me sleep deprived. Most thankful today, for my RN. Which means there will always be a job for me, anywhere & anytime. In the current economy, that's invaluable.

Will This Be My First Big Step?

2010-08-21T13:13:00.000-06:00

I am smart enough not to leave a job in anger or make hasty decisions. So I made some lists, I like lists. Getting it all out there in black and white. All the pros and cons, over a couple of days. I had made the decision to move on from my job. Then, they got wind of it and sat me down for a chat. They have made some minor adjustments to my schedule, for now, and assure me that 2-3 months I will get the shift I want. I'm confident I will get part of what I want, schedule-wise, but that doesn't fix the rest of my list. I've promised I will reconsider. In the process of considering all this, I rec'd my yearly statement from my retirement plan that informs me if I hang in there for a mere 12 more years, I will get $3,000+ dollars per month, with full benefits for the rest of my life. WHAT TIMING! It's like something, out there is just checking to make sure I'm really sure. It's difficult to make the decision to turn my back on a sure thing. Since my brain has been messing with me most of my life, I've gone through lots of times when I've had to just buckle down and hold on. During those times, I've told myself, 'there are only 3 things you HAVE to do' 1. Stay out of jail 2. Support yourself financially 3. Pay taxes. I've done that, and if I stick with what I am doing, for the next 12 years, it will be completed. This job may change, but it's not going anywhere, I will have this job for the next 12 years if I want it. I have accomplished my lifelong goal.

So, the question is... Is that enough for me? Do I want to live that way? Do I want to wait? Is it worth the risk? What are the risks? Who could I hurt? What's the worst case scenario? Who do I want to be? What kind of life do I want? What is out there, that I will miss? What are the benefits?

I've been thinking that these are also questions I would be asking myself as I got closer to my take-off date. This job issue has just brought it up sooner. You see, the majority of pros, on my list for getting a new job, had to do with how it work into my full-timing in 1.5 years. If it weren't for that goal, there would not be enough good reasons to leave what I have now.

For now, I'm still thinking and making lists. I work this weekend and have made arrangements to bounce some things off my brother on Monday. I think I've already made my decision but it changes. Thank goodness I have a week off in two weeks. I'll keep you posted.

Hope all is well out in blogland. I'm trying to keep up with the blogs I follow, but this schedule does not suit me. I'm basically working and sleeping. Not much more. I've gained back the 20 pounds I lost and I'm smoking again (both things that are pushing me towards a new job). I feel like I'm in a haze.

Update

2010-08-16T10:53:00.000-06:00

Just a quick one to say that I have made a decision. The next 2 days I find/update my resume and investigate a new job I'm interested in.

Absent Blogger

2010-08-13T18:36:00.000-06:00

Sorry I haven't been writing. Work is making me crazy! They've totally hosed up my schedule and I had to work some overnight shifts. Not feeling very thankful about anything right now. Might be thankful for a new job soon. Hope all is well out there in Blogland. Dogs and me are o.k. here, except the whole work thing.

If I'm smoking in my dreams does that count?

2010-08-03T10:35:00.001-06:00

My GOSH second night dreaming of smoking. Good thing is that they aren't good dreams. Some are nightmares where I get into horrible situations because I am smoking. People chasing me and grabbing the cigares out of my mouth. Some dreams are just weird situations and all of a sudden I'm lighting a half smoked cigarette. The dreams kept waking me up during the night last night. I guess if dream cigarettes don't give me breathing trouble and don't cost me money I'm safe :0)

Days off from work
clothes washer
clean sheets
big shower
house cleaner

Reactions from Other People

2010-08-02T00:43:00.000-06:00

I LOVE to talk about my plans to RV. I will tell anyone, anytime. It gets me excited, just talking about it :0) Most people just nod and smile, "that sounds like fun" or "really?" Every once in a while, someone will ask a question and... I'm Off and running! blah blah blawdy blah blah. To a person, the response has been "Wow, you've really thought about this a lot" As I'm writing this, I realize my response to inquiries may be a bit overwhelming to people :0) Maybe I should tone it down a little? They are just trying to be nice, ask questions and I flood them with information. HMMM Here I go, living and learning again. This was going to be a blog about how silly people are. OF COURSE I've thought about this. I'm turning my whole life over. BIG changes need some big planning. Besides, I need to do something while I'm waiting for my bills to get paid off. I'll try and tone down my answer to RV living questions and see if the response changes??

air conditioning.
nicotine lozenges
my DVR so I don't miss favorite TV while I'm working
being able to work from home most days.
computer games to relax with

Hurray for Prozac

2010-07-31T10:02:00.000-06:00

Prozac finally kicked in!! Took about a week and a half. Finally, my sense of humor is back. I'm also 5 days in to quitting smoking again. Craziness brought me 2 cartons of cigarettes and 10 of the 20 lbs I had lost. I hate my brain! On the bright side, Prozac works for me, and it's a generic med that's easy to find. If this happens when I'm on the road, it will be an easy and inexpensive fix.

I was doing my countdown to departure 4 days ago, during a meeting at work. I've been saying "in 2 years" since I started my planning. Now, I'm < 2 years (21 months) from departure!!

I have a new obsession. I'm not admitting this to anyone else except blogland. I can't believe I indulged in this guilty pleasure. I actually purchased the live feed for Big Brother 12. I'm so nosey and I love watching people interact, it's just made for me.

Hope everyone is well. I've got to catch up on the blogs I follow during my next days off. Working today and tomorrow.

Grateful for:

Psychiatric drugs that help keep my brain in line.
Freedom to live my life in an RV if I want to
2 crazy dogs that make me smile every day
Nicotine lozenges so I can quit smoking
Support I have in blogland

Take care and be gentle with each other.

I'm Still Here

2010-07-25T10:36:00.000-06:00

All is well. Me and the crazy dogs are doing fine. I'm just sticking to the basics for now and I'll be back soon.

Checking in and Counting the good stuff

2010-07-15T10:50:00.000-06:00

Just a quick post to thank you for positive vibes. Still waiting on Prozac but feeling more stable (still smoking too UGH). I traded 2 hour overtime today, so I could work from home instead of going to the office. Take care, be gentle with yourselves.

good paying, steady job.
being able to work from home.
books on tape that make me smile
gotta LOVE those goofy dogs
air conditioning

I Sold My Fish Tank, Can I go now?

2010-07-10T11:04:00.000-06:00

He showed up, with cash & a strong friend. 4 hours later, it was ALL GONE. Fish tank, corals, snails and all the stuff that goes with them, have gone adios. The tank and stuff will have a good home. He's got the whole basement set up with lizards and turtles and fish OH My! Now that the white noise is gone from living room, I've noticed a few things. My toilet runs on, I can hear my computer fans, and my fresh water fish tanks make noise too LOL.

Feels like I'm a big step closer to hitting the RV road :0) Working today... I'll see you all around BlogLand

Working from home
Sold the saltwater fish tank
Good job so I can get my debts paid off (the friend that came to help with the fish tank move is moving slate to make ends meet. He's an out of work architect)
No kids, so I can get on the road as soon as my debts are paid off
Living in a country where I'm free to do what, when I want.

Life Goes On

2010-07-09T11:19:00.000-06:00

How much would I love to read blogs and play computer games on my day off today. Hopefully, sometime between 1200 and 1500 today, the guy will come to get the fish tank. This big thing in in my living room... It sits on the wall that is shared with my bedroom. Ever since I decided I would be getting rid of it, seems it's gotten louder and LOUDER and LOUDER. The water pump and the gurgling water... Time for it to GO. He left me a $100 deposit and has called to confirm this will be the day for pick-up. Fingers Crossed. I have some picking up to do today, before he gets here. I'll let you know how it goes.

I can't thank you all enough for your comments. So MUCH we all live with. One of my current favorite songs is "Sounds Like Life to Me" by Darryl Worley. Things happen, we roll with the punches. When I get to feeling overwhelmed I keep remembering something a friend used to say to me. "Sorry, You're Just Not That Special". It sounds evil, I know. He's not saying I'm not valuable or I'm not a human being with great contributions to make. It's more along the lines of "S**** happens" or "it's always something". Every Single trial, tragedy, occurence, thought, has been dealt with or experienced by someone else before, and they got through it. Moved on with life. Matter of fact if you just walk around the grocery store, just look at those people, imagine what stories they have to tell. Feeling unique, leads to feeling alone, and feeling alone is scary. No need to feel alone, "you're just not that special" :0)

****** The guy just called to confirm he would be here between 1400 & 1500 ****** Looks like it will really Happen! I've got some work to do.

Take care out there in BlogLand. Be gentle with each other.

Music that touches my heart
Goofy dogs that keep me smiling
BlogLand friends
The guy who is excited about coming to get the noisy aquarium monster that is currently living in my living room.
COFFEE the one vice that I don't have on my list to give up

I am Not Alone!

2010-07-07T20:23:00.000-06:00

Hard, hard, day.    My family knows my history, but if I talk to them, they may become overly concerned. My close friends know, but I'm really not wanting to interact. You, however, are my special friends I can talk & talk and even if you decide not to listen (stop reading) I'll never know or have a hurt feeling :0)

I had a weird night, didn't sleep well, having odd dreams. Not bad dreams, just odd dreams that kept waking me up. I sat down to work kind of feeling off, but o.k. It was one of those days that I was feeling overwhelmed. One of the days I tell myself, it's o.k. if you don't buy an RV and hit the road, you can stay right here and live as you are. Pay off your debts and loose some weight and stay right here with your good job, your nice home and your crazy dogs. It's fine.  I took my first four calls and it hit me.... OMG! That horrible depression is back! It hit me all of a sudden.  Depression is so hard to describe. It is the deepest heartbreak, a hole with no light, the biggest feeling of helplessness and just plain hopelessness. The feeling that everything is SO WRONG and it can NEVER be made right. It's more than just emotion it is an ache to the depths. It isn't even panic for me it's just overwhelming sadness and despair. Right down to the tips of my pink little toe nail.

I've had episodes of depression on & off throughout my life. 3 years ago, I hit the wall and almost committed suicide. I had been plugging along, fighting it every day, and it just clicked. My brain said it was time, I was done, I didn't want to play, I didn't want to live that way anymore.

I was close to suicide one other time.   The phrase that stopped me was this.... "If you could do absolutely ANYTHING ELSE besides kill yourself what would it be?" That was the day I dropped out of college and tried to join the Air Force because I thought I needed discipline to solve my problems. Thank the good Lord for a recruiter that let me take the admission test and then gently told me how much the Air Force could really use me but I needed to loose 30 lbs before I could join the military.   I could go work on that and he would contact me in a few months :0) I continued my melt down at my parents home, that night. Told them I had dropped out instead of killing myself (how could they argue with that?). Within 2 months I had found a job and moved out.

3 years ago, my answer to that question that saved me before was... nothing. There is nothing to be done that can make this better, I'm Done. I've been to a therapist 2 other times in my life. Both coincided with situations in my life that were difficult. I had a goal when I went into therapy. Get In, Get it Fixed, Get Out, Get On with it!. This time there was no situation that was wrong, nothing to fix, it was just all HORRIBLE and HOPELESS.   That night I hung on long enough to recognize I could go to the emergency room, without doing damage to myself and I could be safe there. I decided I could hang on long enough to make an appointment with some sort of shrink. I couldn't go to the emergency room because I would be there a long time and there wasn't anyone to feed the dogs. That lead me to realize that I shouldn't kill myself because my dogs would freak out if I left the house and didn't come back. My crazy dogs saved me :0) Now who's the crazy one in this house???

Needless to say, I found a psychiatrist & a psychologist, got started on a box full of medications.   The psychiatrist walked through my history, showing me each episode of severe clinical depression I've had over the course of my life, and told me I would probably have to be on medication for a long time. Evidentally, episodic depression get's worse as we age, and once you've had 2 episodes, it's just about guaranteed it will happen again. I was a good patient and stayed on my pharmacy of meds for > 2 years. I had irritating side effects that got worse as I stayed on the medications. I finished my therapy and I tapered off the medications slowly. I watch closely for signs I'm sliding into the abyss. I've been doing well.

I had forgotten that smoking increases seratonin & dopamine in the brain. That's the reason you will often see schizophrenics chain smoking. I quit smoking 2 weeks ago. My brain is not fond of having less of these neuro-transmitters.   How's that for a rationalization?? You like it??? :0)

So here I sit, smoking, crying, and wallowing in my unbalanced cerebellar mess, with the crazy dogs near by. I left a message for the Dr. to call me so I can get a Prozac prescription called in. That's the med, with the least side effects.  Excercise will increase the good brain chemicals too (that's how I got out of the other bad depressive episode). I'm really going to try to get that started. Exercise has been a sticking point for me since I started all this life change planning RV thing. I have NO excuses. I just don't do it.

Now I get to the Title of my post. All of those thoughts that come with depression are made worse when I feel very alone. I can say I know I am not alone. I may pull back from people in the rest of life, but not blogland. I mean how much safer interaction is there? I write what I feel, when I want and I can edit in my time.  I can imagine all the people reading it, or not reading it.  No one can talk back unless I want to hear what they have to say. Even better, I've made a couple of friends out here in blogland. I've never met them face to face, but they are friends I like, nice people. Some of them I know because I follow their blogs, some of them I only hear from occasionally.

Please send good thoughts my way. Put me in your prayers if you're into that.  These feelings BITE and clinical depression SUCKS but I know what it is and I know what to do.  The crazy dogs and crazy me will be o.k.

Selective-Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors
I have a Dr. to call that may call in a prescription without me actually having to go in to the office (fingers crossed)
I ALMOST FORGOT... I have a deposit on the fish tank, I sold it, guy is picking it up on Friday (fingers crossed)
Working from home (having today's melt down at work would have been embarrassing and I would have had to leave work)
Blogland friends... I know I'm not alone! (how hokey is that?... insert eye rolling here)

Precious - Based on a Novel by Sapphire

2010-07-05T01:23:00.000-06:00

I tried to watch it well. I was attentive. I watched the added stuff on the DVD. I'm sure it is a wonderful movie. I am not the one that can appreciate it. The movie is for people that have moved further in their journey. I only made it 30 minutes into the movie before I couldn't stand it any more. So now I will try... "God Grew Tired of Us". A documentary about children that survived amazing craziness and ended up in U.S. trying to find their way. I'll let you know.

Flip Flops are the new Wine?

2010-07-02T12:22:00.000-06:00

I came to a problem yesterday. I was getting off work from a busy but not horrible day, I had the next day off and I wanted to give myself a treat. Usually, that means I pick up a bottle of wine and some junk food. Settle in to watch a silly or very emotional movie. The problem is... I'm not smoking and if I want to continue to be a non-smoker, I need to stay away from alcohol for now. The drinking part of my brain is intimately involved with the smoking park of my brain. My brain, drinking, is an impulsive place who's favorite line is "what the F*&@!". It would smoke, in a heart beat. I'm also working on my weight (20 pounds down so far), which means, no Junk Food. So what kind of treats do I look forward to now?

One suggestion I got was to pick up some flip flops? Several other people agreed that would be fun. I guess they are cheap and easy to find and come in all types of fun designs and women like to get new flip flops. I pass a Target on my way home.. So I guess flip flops were an option? I don't shop. I, especially don't shop for clothes and shoes. Please refer to the previously posted pick of my feet! They are more paddles than feet and can be difficult to fit. My summer shoes are a pair of Birkenstock sandals I've been wearing for years. When they wear out, I order another pain online. They are not cute but the are comfortable and functional. Even if I found a pair of cute flip flops that would fit... looking at my newly pedicured toes in new fun flip flops by the light of a silly movie.. just didn't sound like the kind of relaxing, fun, evening I am looking for. I didn't stop for the flip flops.

Other suggestions were a new computer game (maybe), Wii game (too much activity for a relaxing night), movie (but I have netflix), or cooking up a healthy/easy chinese meal (I'm not the 'cooking is fun and relaxing' kind of gal), or picking up a new craft project I could start (I love to start them but finishing them is not my strong point :0). I liked the craft project idea but I wanted something I could do in low light (remember the silly movie?)

What did I do? I know you are waiting to hear!

As I got closer to Target, I became concerned I would get junk & booze (this is a Super Target that sells both) since that is part of my routine. I really didn't want to deal with the people & traffic anyway. I decided to take a different road home than I usually do. It was a BEAUTIFUL evening and I was driving with all the windows down. I never realized how many people smoke in their cars!! I can smell a cigarette smoking 50 feet away now lol (is it bad that I wanted them to get closer and blow the smoke my way??). I stopped and got some junk food close to home. Got home, ate, and went straight to bed. Not an exciting end to the story. The good part is that I now known this is a tripping point. Next time I will be prepared. I will have a plan for a place to stop to get a computer game or craft project on my way home. I think I'll leave the cute flip flops to other ladies :0)

Look what happens when I quit smoking!!!

2010-06-28T23:47:00.001-06:00

My toenails turn Pink :0) I found a coupon, on line, for a nail place across the street. It was interesting, I haven't done that in a long time. Kind of a yucky process for the nail tech. It was well worth the price! I only thought about smoking once in the whole hour. Now my feet feel fabulous and look kinda cute too :0)

While I was waiting for my nails to dry I stared at a wonderful painting of 8 horses. All different colored horses running acroos the side of a grassy mountain. I imagined the orange horse and the green horse were just falling in love and being shunned by the others. The lone white horse, fought valliantly to be a strong leader despite being so different from the other horses... This is where my brain goes when everyone around me is speaking a foreign language and I have to keep my feet under the purple light. So, there is Asian writing on the painting, I kept imagining what profound thing it might say. When I checked out, I asked the gentleman what it said. "Eight Horses" he tells me with a strong accent. I'm sure it sounds much prettier in their language. It certainly looks prettier in writing. Hope all is well in blogland.

This is not exactly what the painting looked like but it's similar. A Google seach tells me: "A famous Chinese proverb says "horses come bringing success". The horse is one of the most popular animals in the Chinese zodiac and is often used to symbolize Yang energy in Chinese culture."

Healthy, goofy dogs that make me smile every day.
A new home for my saltwater fish and corals.
The ability to be a non-smoker for a week.
Hard-working nail tech to make my toes look cute and my feet feel soft.
Breathing better each day I do not smoke

One week as a non-smoker

2010-06-28T12:49:00.001-06:00

I've had moments where I was just convinced it was time to smoke. This is not a painless process. I have to step back, take and few deep breaths and a nicotine lozenge. It would not be helpful to smoke. I like breathing without using my inhaler every day. No wheezing since I stopped smoking :0) The money is a reason too. When I went to the grocery store, I kept telling myself that I had $55 extra to spend on whatever I wanted since I was not buying cigarettes. I've been thinking it would be nice to go get a pedicure with my cigarette money. I love getting pedicures but do it rarely because it seems like such an extravagance. I'm proud of myself for not smoking but I am angry that I got so hooked. Looking forward to the day when the cravings are not as overwhelming. I've noticed that I crave cigarettes a lot when I'm bored. Time to get working on other things. Maybe I can hit the treadmill and excercise these lungs of mine. Since Merikay is painting, her mileage is on hold. I might be able to catch up to her :0) I too could be hiking 1000 miles in National Parks someday.

I sold the majority of the live stock in my fish tank. I changed my posting on Craigslist to list out more of the specific items I have. Hopefully will get more interest. I had a moment of pang when the fishies and corals were being taken out. It didn't last long though. I told the man that bought them, I was selling the tank because I was going to move into an RV. He had a hard time wrapping his brain around the concept. "I guess they have everything you need? Everything you have here?" It was kind of fun for me. Something that makes so much sense to me personally, this guy has no grasp of why I would even want to consider it. It's still making me smile. Is it the rebel in me that has fun making them wonder??

Having allergy attack today. What's up with that. Must be because it rained yesterday

THE BOOK

2010-06-25T09:19:00.000-06:00

In my journey to full-timing I've had a couple of moments. In retrospect, they were moments that realized this life is the place I want to live, the person I want to be. The first time was reading Howard and Linda's blog at RV-Dreams. There were references here & there about learning to live from his heart more than his head. As he was learning to full-time, he was also learning about himself and becoming more comfortable. Each time I came across those entries, my eyes would start to leak and I wasn't sure why. There was my adventure to the RV-Dreams rally in Sept 2009. After 2 full days of people and presentations, I was not on people overload, I wanted more! Yesterday and today, my eyes are leaking as I read a book. I am not a reader. Any books I 'read' are books on tape. I'm slow at reading, my comprehension is poor and it gives me a headache. Are you getting the picture?? Not a Reader here. There is a certain book that kept popping up, I was NEVER going to find on tape. The other day, I followed a link on a blog and purchased a book called The Woman's Guide to Solo RVing . While I was ordering that helpful book, this book that keeps popping up..... popped up! Imagine that. The book is RV Traveling Tales: Women's Journeys on the Open Road . So, I ordered that one too. The 'guide to solo rving' is well written and full of helpful info. It's full of LISTS! my kind of book. I'm sure I will return to it again & again. I started Traveling Tales yesterday. It touches me and makes my eyes leak. Things about RV living, that touch me, give me a feeling that is SO hard to explain. It's a feeling of I WANT! I want to be there, I want to meet these people, I want to be a part of ALL of it. The book is collection of short stories from women who full-time. I want to meet each one of them, each of their dogs, their partners, and yes... even their kids :0) There's a chapter written by a 14 year old female.. I even want to meet her! Now there's a surprise. I want to strap this book to me, eat it (but then I'd have to buy another one and that's just not in the budget :0) and make it a part of me.

I WILL get there, leaking eyes and all. I WILL be a part of all of it. I WILL find how to live more from my heart than my head.

I've been forgetting my list (gratitudes, blessings, thanksgiving whatever you want to call it)

Air conditioning.
A safe place for the crazy dogs to play and get worn out on days I have to work in the office
Editors/Authors: Jaimie Hall and Alice Zyetz
Nicotine lozenges
Digital Video recorder so I can watch my favorite shows in my own time

THE LIST

2010-06-21T14:29:00.000-06:00

I'm a list maker. Before my first RV trip, (RVDreams Rally in 10/2009), I had lists of lists all over the house :0) Lists keep me focused and make sure I don't forget anything. Lists also let the control freak in me have something to hold on to. I have been keeping lists of 'places to see', 'places to stay', 'need for the rig', 'must haves', 'motorhome choices' and 'towed options'. I recently realized that I am about 1.5 years from my planned adventure date. That's closer than the 2 years I've been saying before now :0) . Time is moving on. So, I made the BIG LIST, with approximate dates of all the stuff that has to happen between now and take-off. One thing I learned, when I made this list, is that my launch date needed to be moved one month further into nice weather. Because my estate sale will happen before the house sale and after moving into the rig, good weather for the sale is more likely to be in March than Feb.

When I was sick, I was smoking very little because I had congestion in my chest and did not want to end up at the doctor's office. I had to go see a doctor, after I was getting better, because I needed a release to go back to work after so many days out sick. The Dr. and I discussed how I use my inhaler when I'm not sick (I'd been using it more while I was sick) and the Dr. said it was time to add a steroid inhaler to control my asthma. I've had mild asthma since I was a child and I've been smoking since I was about 20 years old. Bad choice, I know. I don't want to be on steroids and I was planning to quit smoking Feb 2011 anyway (since smoking will make my health insurance premiums more expensive). So, I moved up my quit date and this is my second day, that I can say 'I don't smoke'. Best of all, I check the first thing off of my departure list!!!

TO BE DONE BEFORE HITTING THE ROAD:

Pay off debts (12/2011)
Weigh < 200 pounds (6/2011)
Become non-smoker (6/2010)
Contact nephew to see if he wants Christmas decorations (10/2010)
Start business for taking medical transcription jobs (1/2011)
Buy work computer (1/2011)
Get medical transcription certification (1/2011 - 6/2011)
Choose Class A (Winnebago)
Purchase Class A
Choose toad
Purchase Toad
Purchase and set up towing of toad (with brake buddy)
Sell truck
Join Escapees RV club
Auto & home insurance for rig
Pull my stuff I want to keep out of the house and into the rig
Buy personal laptop and transfer computer info to it.
Clean desktop computer for sale.
Set up rig on site & move in (friend's field) (end of 3/2012)
Put home on the market
Purchase containers to fit stuff and rig
Notify family/friends to come take what they want from home
Interview Estate Sale Service (A+A Estate Wizards & Denver Gypsy Boys)
1 month notice to job (end of 3/2012)
Hold Estate Sale (3 or 4/2012)
Sell home
Decide on mail forwarding service (mom or Livingston, TX)
Update will
Health Insurance
Disability Insurance
Road service plan for rig
Insurance to return rig & transport me and transport brother to me in case of emergency
Packet to emergency contact with all info and passwords

Today

2010-06-17T23:39:00.000-06:00

Wow! So much today.

Tomorrow I was going job hunting

Today I found out the hill I would die on was: I Want to Help People.

Today I found out that I would do it anyway

I know what a BIG DEAL this oil spill will be for this country. Lord knows I am learning what it means for the locals.

Today I thought… what will this mean for the RV I will be looking for in 2012? :0)

Be gentle with each other. Hope all is well out there.

Getting Better

2010-06-15T14:37:00.000-06:00

Good thing I don't get sick.. EVER. It really throws me for a loop. Got some kind of wacky virus. Achy all over, congestion, coughing, not breathing well and totally exhausted. Finally getting better. Thanks for good thoughts sent my way.

I must be getting better, was wanting to search used RV's for sale this morning :0)

Yep, I'm Sick.

2010-06-10T11:32:00.000-06:00

Good things about being sick...... Not working (I'm not sure, if I was given the choice, if it's worth the trade). Cold meds and colds make me sleepy so I spend my time in this twilight sleep listening to books on tape. With this cold, at least I SOUND pitiful too, so when someone calls me or I call in to work I get lot's of sympathy. Glad I am actually ill. My brain plays tricks, so when I want to spend the whole day in bed, it's good to know for sure that it's physical and not mental.

Hope all is well out there in blogland.

Blah, Blah, Blah

2010-06-08T08:12:00.000-06:00

Woke up 2 days ago just feeling blah. Kinda tired and flat with a sort of sore throat. Not really sick, maybe sick coming on? Who knows? Allergy season is here so it could be that too. Slept most of the the day yesterday, today, still the same only now back is sore from being in bed all day. I just can't win here. Just not sure. Hanging in for today. Have Dentist this morning. Yay!! ME!!

Still fielding responses from Craigslist for the tank. I'm getting better at this. The woman who had expressed interest in the truck never returned call after leaving 2 messages, so that fell through.

Have good days and be gentle with each other.

cheap coffee that still tasted good.
artificial sweetener for coffee so I can drink as much as I want.
goofy dogs keeping me company and making me laugh.
funny morning show on the radio
dental insurance so the visit today won't cost much at all.

Back to Work and Craigslist

2010-06-04T13:50:00.000-06:00

First day back in the office with my improved attitude was yesterday. I tried. If I don't listen to my ipod at work, it helps my ability to interact with people but also let's me hear others being annoying. It's a double edged sword that I need to find the balance with. I never realized how much I roll my eyes. How 15 years old is that? I know it's rude, juvenile, and must be stopped. I'm just too old to be doing that.

I never made it to the Celestial Seasonings plant on my vacation. Things just kept coming up. I did manage to loose 2 pounds on my vacation and I enjoyed the time to re-group. Truck got all fixed up with it's annual check-up and cost less than I thought. They were even able to fix the broken door at a reasonable price. The truck will need new tires sometime in the next year. I have the number of the woman that is interested in buying the truck, I'll keep you posted on how that goes. I also found out that a friend will be selling her 2002 honda civic soon. She is the only owner and is getting a bigger vehicle for her growing family. Guess what! That particular car tows well & easily. Stuff falling in to place? We'll see.

My Craigs List lessons continue. The fish tank buyer fell through so I have posted the add again. Seems like things just take FOREVER. I want it NOW. Practicing my patience is becoming a habit. This is a good thing I suppose.

Did you see? Jennifer of Living in My Car checked out my blog and left a nice comment. Thank you Jennifer! She's dealing with a leak and some other troubles on her adventure right now. I guess other people get to work on patience too :0)

Safe place for dogs to stay and play when I have to work in the office.
Kind people at work that Get Me! and make me laugh
'So You Think You Can Dance' TV show. The human body is just amazing!
Still thankful for AC I can afford
Books on tape, the one that kept me listening in bed this morning was "Candy Girl". A memoir by a girl that decided to try out stripping, in MN of all places.

In with the Good Air, Out with the bad.

2010-05-31T12:44:00.001-06:00

Between my mother, the guy who came to see the fish tank, and 'anonymous' commenter... Starting to get the feeling my attitude about dealing with people to sell my fish tank is over the top. Then the first two blogs I check out this morning are all about attitude adjustment.   I am definitely more flipped out about strangers coming to my house than dealing with the people themselves. When someone would say they were coming to look, I would get myself all worked up, getting ready for them to come over, then I would be angry when they didn't show.  As you know, patience is not my strong point, and waiting for people to see the add, then follow up, is a process that takes patience.

The nice thing I woke up to is a show on HGTV called RV 2010. Show is at a big RV show, showing the newest RV's and the newest RV stuff. It was a cool show. Dreaming is good for the attitude.

Will my brain ever let me go? Probably not.  I need to give myself space to step back and breathe when I start getting on a roll. I have to laugh. Didn't I just make an entry about my tendency to move slowly and how I would enjoy that during this time off from work?   Maybe it takes me so long to do things because I'm busy buzzing in circles. Winding myself up and getting nothing done. Not a very flattering picture.

As long as I'm fessing up to not very pretty sides of myself. I released a BIG GREEN MONSTER yesterday. Let it go. Jealousy is not pretty and never leads to anything good. I have been hugely jealous of a blogger I follow.  Jennifer is about my age and has just recently started on her full time adventure (Living in My Car). I was jealous that she already had an income to live on while she was preparing, and once she was on the road. Yesterday, I left a comment on her blog fessing up and wishing her well. She is a great writer and takes interesting pics. I will be following her closely and enjoying her adventure. It felt good to let it go. This is about me and the crazy dogs (please give me the 'crazy dogs' even though I am obviously crazier than them :0) finding our way, learning, and having some fun along the way.

I will find my way in this process. One way, or another, this is going to happen.  It helps to be able to share it here. I've always kept a journal but it is different putting stuff out here, in public. There is a different feeling to it.

3 more days off from work. I'm headed for Celestial Seasonings Wednesdy morning. I may actually get some pictures up here for ya. Pictures are always more interesting than just my blather.

For today: Grocery and Laundry.   Pretty exciting huh.

All those people that give up so much so I can have the time and space to work out my dreams.
Dogs are sleeping in the sun. HAPPY DOGS are a woderful sight.
Housecleaner coming tomorrow
Air conditioning
cool TV shows to remind me of the cool part of the picture

Take care all! Be gentle with each other.

Update, Tank Sold?

2010-05-30T18:06:00.000-06:00

May have sold the tank. Someone actually showed to look at it and is interested. He's willing to pay full price but can't take it to the new home until mid June. Fine with me (as long as it's before Feb 2012 LOL). Problem is he can't have the money to me until Thursday. We'll see. I'm not turning down any full price offers I may get before then. He seemed like an honest, nice person.

Fingers crossed everyone! I'll keep you posted.

OMG People make Me Crazy!!

2010-05-30T10:37:00.000-06:00

Still enjoying my time off. Moving at the speed of me. Playing with my music, watching movies. Enjoying the weather and air conditioning.

Their is a reason I only mess with Craigs List when I have time off. I've had several calls of people that say they are coming by to look.. They don't show up. Other people want me to call them on their phone number that is long distance. 2 have offerred to give me partial payment and I hold the tank from a week to 2 weeks before they can pick it up. One wanted to write me a check now and pick it up on Thursday. I just keep nicely telling them, first one to put full CASH payment in my hot little hands can pick up the tank at their leisure. You all know that I don't like people much to begin with! Dealing with this particular segment of the population is not fun. I just don't get the point. There's no reason for them to be messing with me over a FISH TANK for gosh sakes. What gain do they get? Sometimes I think people are just pains in the butt on general principle. ARGH!!!!

O.k. Rant over.

Going to do some picking up around the house today, some laundry, and maybe the grocery store. It's a busy busy life for me :0)

Stilly Dying After All These Years :-)

2010-05-29T10:41:00.000-06:00

So I'm starting off with a bad pun. Don't like it? Build a bridge and get over it. It's my blog and I'll pun If I want to!! :0)

How are you? I'm awesome! Still on vacation! The big hair decision was made with the assistance of my fine hair stylist. I'm still colored up but it's darker and this color will slowly fade over time. Making my roots blend better as it grows. I'm not a big style girl. A pony tail or hair up in a big clip and I'm good to go. She styled my hair really neat. One of those styles that looked like I had spent hours on it to look like I had just rolled out of bed. It even lasted all day. Usually styles fall out of my hair in about 2.5 minutes. I won't discuss trying to brush out the hairspray before bed. It looked fabulous but it was for looking not for touching. It's fun to do once in a while.

Fish tank sales are slow. Selling stuff on Craig's list is a pain. People say they will show up to look or call and they don't. That's why I decided to wait until I had days off of work to sell this thing. Oh well, it is free and gets lots of exposure, one can't have it all. Someone is supposed to come look at it today after 4:00 we'll see if he actually shows.

Truck will be in the shop until Wednesday. I'm glad I got a rental. No Dog Park until then... SHH don't tell the crazy dogs that the plan is altered. Work on the truck didn't cost as much as I thought, but will still be a dent in the pocket.

I'm off to suck some coffee and check out everyone in blog land. CYA!! Take care and be gentle with each other.

Beautiful Colorado weather with air conditioning when it gets too hot
Craigslist... Where else could I go to post a huge fish tank for sale.
Good mechanic, I can rely on to be honest and only do the work he needs to.
Crazy dogs that make me smile everyday
Not working for a week

New Look?

2010-05-28T09:33:00.000-06:00

I'm going to get my hair cut & colored today. I can't decide whether to get my regular color, brown with highlights, or to go more natural. Brown with highlights is the improved version of what my hair was in my younger days. As I've gotten older I gotten more and more grey hairs. I like the grey I'm getting. It's the pretty, shiny grey. I lucked out there. Some of my family has the pretty, shiny, white, grey. The others get this blah dull grey. I know I won't be able to afford regular color jobs once I go full-time RV. Home coloring is not my thing. I like the salt & pepper look but it just doesn't have enough of the salt in it yet. I'll see what happens. I LOVE my hairdresser. She is funny and smart. She LOVEs being a hairdresser. So nice to work with someone that really loves her work. I've been letting my hair grow out, and boy has it grown. It's finally gotten too long, even for me. I could never have long hair while I was growing up. My hair was always too thin and it just looked greasy/stringy, when I grew it out. Couldn't hold a hair clip or tie in to save my life. As I've gotten older, my hair has gotten thicker (is it those grey ones helping out?). I will keep it long, but needs to be trimmed up a bit.

Took truck to the shop yesterday. Rented a Hyundai Sonata. Cool Car! Problem is, no dogs allowed in the rental. No dog park visits until I get the truck back :0( Got the big fish tank posted on Craig's List and I've had a few bites. Guy is coming by the house to look at it this afternoon. Hate having strangers in my house but I'll take all precautions. I remember moving this thing to my house. It was a 10 hour day with three of us working at it. Glad I won't be doing that again.

It's going to be an air conditioning day today, heating up around here. Take Care All!

Comfy chair to read blogs and drink coffee in
Air conditioning on hot days
A hairdresser I look forward to seeing and trust absolutely
Good dogs to keep me company, make me laugh, and scare strangers.
Good coffe that's inexpensive

Moving at the speed of... ME

2010-05-26T19:56:00.000-06:00

One week off, what will I do with myself? Lot's of exciting things. Truck goes to shop in the morning, then hair cut & color day after. Going to sell the biggest fish tank. Grocery shopping and laundry are staples. Lot's of dog park visits!! Possibly a visit to Celestial Seasonings Tea factory. Mostly, not working, enjoying this wonderful spring weather and taking my time.

I don't think I'll have any trouble learning to slow down when I start RVing full time. My baseline is turtle speed with occasional sit & stare thrown in for good measure. Even when I was a runner, I was never making record time. I can focus and 'get er done' if I need to. I just don't like to need to. With all that considered, I guess it's only appropriate that it's taking me 2 years to get on the road now that I've made the decision :0)

Paid time off from work. A whole week!
Working with a co-worker that takes as many calls as I do today.
Special gems in my cassette music collection. Music I couldn't find anywhere else and I had forgotten how much I loved.
Watching past Survivor episodes with commentary. What a way to start my time off.
Kind callers today that said nice things to me

Take care everyone.

Thinking.... what to take and what to get rid of

2010-05-25T14:39:00.000-06:00

Uh Oh! She's thinking again.

Diana of Life on the open road left a comment expressing a concern about my purging urges. What I know about preparing for a life of full-timing I've primarily learned from the internet and blogs. I know I don't want to leave anything in storage. I've gotten the impression that there just won't be room (weight/space allotment) for anything that is not useful. I've limited myself to one box of stuff that is just keepsakes. Memory items that have no use but I like to touch and see sometimes. I know I can take some pics to stick up on the walls. I want to limit or eliminate fragile items since things can get so rattled around when driving the rig. With this in mind, while I'm waiting for my time, I often look at things in my home and think... 'that can go' and 'I'm taking that for sure' and 'that will be hard to let go, but I can't take it' and 'I could give that to so and so'

I'm gathering a big pile of cassettes that are now in my computer. They will go in a box for my garage sales to come. It's all about the Eagles this morning! Doing some dish washing dancing and having party flashbacks with my coffee this morning :0)

Wonderful weather today so I can have all the windows open
Housecleaner is here today. Clean sheets and bathrooms for the week.
Good feelings to go with music memories
Amazon.com having album information and art work for old albums I'm transferring to the computer.
Sleeping in, no alarms and no whining dogs today.

Counting my Blessings and What to say

2010-05-24T12:51:00.000-06:00

I've talked about my friend Kiki before. Well, she's pregnant. SOO happy for her. Her and hubby are having a little girl. It's so hard for me when my friends get pregnant. I know it's an exciting time, and a scary time. I just can't relate. I'm glad there are people that want to have children and are good at raising them. Thank GOD people do. It's just not me. I've occasionally had the urge to want to know what it feels like to be pregnant but never had a craving to have a child. To me, they are a huge commitment, I don't want to have. I know there are joys I will never know, without a child of my own. I'm o.k. with that. All I think about is another person demanding my time, attention, money and messing with my stuff :0) The worry and potential trouble that come with a child is all I can think about. You can call me selfish, and you would be right. On the other hand. If I had followed the traditional path. Gotten married and had kids. I'm sure I would have ended up on Oprah with my kid/s in therapy for the duration. I'm glad I was raised in a time, and in a family where it was o.k. for me not to want children. No one has ever given me a hard time about it. But back on the subject. How to express to Kiki how happy I am for her? How do I tell her how happy I am for her and hubby. Let her know I think she will be a fabulous mom and wish her the best? I won't be a babysitting candidate. I know I will see her less once the child is born, and her life is taken over with child rearing. I will miss her. I'm also glad that smart, kind, people like her and hubby are choosing to bring kids into the world. She will be a beautiful, smart, kind, and well educated person that the world will be lucky to have.

That brings me to the next paragraph of counting my blessings. This is on of those instructions from my mother that still hangs around. I have a tendency to get into a funk and start feeling sorry for myself. Mom was constantly reminding me to count my blessings. Even Oprah had a run where she was encouraging people to journal about 5 positive things a day. She called it the gratitude journal. I did it for a while and it did add a different perspective to my life. I follow a blogger named Ali who puts a list of 'praises' and 'prayers' at the end of her journal entries. It certainly sums up a day in the life of a person. I think I'll try it. I'll call it my blessings for now.

No children or attachments keeping me from planning my RV adventure (if I had followed a traditional path, my kids would be teens now UGH)
great paying job that allows me to work from home most of the time and provides great benefits
2 wonderful dogs that make me smile every day
safe, comfortable home
reliable high speed internet to keep in touch with blog land and the rest of the world

Cya later. Thanks for stopping by. Be gentle with each other.

Feeling Festive and Nostalgic

2010-05-22T08:48:00.000-06:00

The last 4 tapes I've moved to the computer are Christmas music. I have to listen to the music. after I've transferred it to the computer, to make sure the quality is o.k. and to label the tracks. I had a little Christmas in May hour. I had Mannheim Steamroller Christmas, which is all instrumental but beautiful. Great music to open presents to. Songs I don't remember hearing before. Bing Crosby's White Christmas. That boy could sing!! I might have to track down some more of his stuff. What other secrets might that other generation be keeping from us?

Going throught these tapes, and thinking of RVing as I do. I've been running through my head about why we keep the things we do? I've decided I will hang on to one bin of keepsakes. Stuff that has no real function except memories for me. I have one box of "keepsakes" I've been lugging around since I moved out of my parents house. I guess I will have to go through that box before I hit the road. I haven't been through the box in about 10 years and I wonder if there will be anything in there that I just have to keep longer? I know, when family members have died, I pick one thing of theirs that reminds me of them. I have a tie clip from one grandfather (that will go in my bin), an old baseball cap from another grandfather, and dog collars from dogs that have moved on. Wonder what someone would choose if they wanted a reminder of me? Interesting what we attach memories to.

Only 3 more working days until I have a week off. Today, tomorrow and Wednesday :0)

Phew!! I still have a job!!

2010-05-21T11:42:00.000-06:00

We did my annual evaluation at work yesterday. Everything went fine. My "improvement I need to work on" is being more approachable when I'm working in the office. I also need to work on my attitude, a little bit, when working in the office. I can't argue with this, I HATE working in the office and I'm sure it shows. I also don't understand why it's necessary to work in the office once per week. I don't see that it helps anyone, I'm grumpier (obviously my co-workers don't enjoy that). Surely I'm less kind to the callers when I am grumpier. I've got no problem coming in when there is a reason; like clients visiting the call center or if we've got new people starting that need the support. I just don't see why I need to wake up 2 hours earlier, put on uncomfortable clothes, leave my crazy dogs, drink cold coffee, and be surrounded by noise, just because the rule is that I have to work in the office one shift per week. I thought I was doing well not being tacky with the dopey callers. I guess they want more :0( O.k. rant over. After my time off next week, I will work on being more approachable and having a better attitude when I'm working in the office. I do still need this job for a couple more years.

On the good side... In the back of my head I kept thinking. This would be a good time, next year, to clue my supervisor in on my plans to leave in Feb. Won't That BE COOL!!!! Big Smiles all around.

I'm wondering if I am having another moment of 'things falling together' that future full timers talk about having when they are getting ready to go. After work, I was talking to someone about my truck and that I'm going to have to sell it to get something smaller. I started talking about what I will be able to get for it. My research has shown I would be able to get $1300 if I'm really lucky. Trade in value would be about $850. I made it clear I wasn't ready to sell anytime soon. So, this guy asks me. "If you could get $2500 dollars would you sell it now?" He has a friend that has been looking for a truck just like mine (I didn't ask why). I said yes. He's going to make a phone call and will get hold of me if it's a go. So I may be shopping for a towed sooner than I thought. Good thing RV magazine had an article on good toweds, I cut it out to save. The magazine is one my Dad got for free when we went to the RV show and he passes them on to me. I just picked up the magazine when I went to lunch with mom this week.

3 more days of work (working from home I might add) and then I have a week off. Dog park trips are in the plan, selling the fish tanks, and having reg maintenance done on the truck is in the plan. Maybe I'll also take a tour of the Celestial Seasonings tea factory in Boulder?

Hope all is well in blogland. Take care and be gentle with each other.

Churchill, Manitoba Polar Bears

2010-05-18T15:55:00.002-06:00

Here are the photographers

These are buggies they ride in to go out and see the bears

bears come right up to check things out

It is called hibernation after all.

There were a bunch of bear butt pictures! (no cropping needed here) I guess those bears don't stand still much. They made me laugh, so I had to share.

The white box on the back of the bus is a deck with a wire grate the visitors can walk out on during the tour. The young bears come up to check it out.

There was a crew making an Imax film this season. They had their own buggy. This picture gives you an idea of how many bears hang around this time of year.

Excuse me, Mr. Imax. May I be in your film?

So here's the rig you need to RV out with the bears in Churchill. This is a place where people can stay for several days. They come out to pump the tanks and deliver propane almost every day. Kind of a portable Hotel.

The water from showers is allowed to drain right on to the ground. I guess the smells attract attention from the bears.

Susan wants to make sure everyone is aware. A telephoto lens was not used for the pictures. The bears are REALLY this close.

Come ON Hudson Bay.. Freeze Already!! I'm Hungry!

There were SO many Great pictures, it was hard choose only a few. I think I picked a good sample. Let me know what you think. Going through these pics was fun. Susan and Charles say it was most definitely the trip of a lifetime.

Haven't I Been Productive?

2010-05-18T10:38:00.002-06:00

By the end of the day yesterday I had: A new dentist, clean truck inside & out, socialized with my mother, full dog food bin, restocked printer ink, a jump drive full of polar bears, empty trash cans, and full refrig. By the end of today I will have clean sheets on the bed, appointments for further dental work, clean kitchen, more money paid off the credit card and a few more cassettes transferred to the computer.

What's that you say? You don't have a jump drive full of polar bears and you are jealous?? Don't be jealous, I'll share. I have friends that went to Churchill, Manitoba last year. That is the place where the polar bears hang out, waiting for the sea ice to freeze, so they can go hunt food. They are in "walking hibernation" and Churchill has some places for tourists to get up close & personal with the polar bears. There is not a way for my RV to ever get to Churchill, to see the polar bears. They had made a CD/slideshow about the trip that was very informative but I wanted MORE POLAR BEARS. Yesterday, she loaded up my jump drive with all the pictures they took. One of my jobs for coffee today is to go through and pick my favs. I'll post the coolest ones here when I'm done.

What happens when you want to blog but there's nothing?

2010-05-16T11:56:00.000-06:00

I want to make a blog entry, keep contact with blogland, but I don't know what to say. Nothing much going on here. Working this weekend. Same Old, Same Old. People have been pretty civilized. I haven't been called a nasty name in a couple weeks :0)   One of my callers took the time to contact my supervisor and say how wonderful I was. That Rocks.   Always looks good on the yearly evaluation.

I want to put more pictures in my blog but my camera just eats batteries. It takes 2 AA batteries. I put new batteries in and take maybe 20 pics over 4 days and the batteries are ready to be replaced. That can't be right. It's about 4 years old but I haven't used it much. It's Pentax Optio. I either need to get rechargable batteries or a new camera. Something to think about.

Besides work, I've been transferring my cassette tapes to the computer. Glad I'm doing this now. When I go to look up some of the old tapes at Amazon, I find that they don't make some of them on CD. There have been a couple of tapes that I'm going to buy the CD's for.  The music just didn't make the transfer well. Dan Fogelberg's Innocent Age and a couple of Pat Metheny albums. Get the name of this Metheny album, "As Falls Wichita, So Falls Wichita Falls". His albums are primarily instrumental, and are a beautiful place to go when chaos is surrounding me.

Tomorrow is a busy day for me. Get the truck washed (there is some cat hair in there courtesy of Comcast). Need to get that taken care of before I pick my mom up for Mother's Day lunch. I also have a dentist appt tomorrow. The dentist I have used for years is about 1 hour drive from me. I'm trying one that is closer. Just going for exam and cleaning to try him out. I am one of those people that can't stand the dentist. I don't like people in my personal space and I don't like loud noises. Lay me on my back with one or two people surrounding my head, hands in my mouth. It doesn't get much more 'in my personal space' than that.  Each time they scrape or mess with my teeth it echos through my head! A whole new meaning to the word loud.  My hair is standing up just thinking about it. I'll pick some of my new found music to take with me.

Hope all is well with you.  Be gentle with each other. Cya.

“Look like a girl. Act like a lady. Think like a man. Work like a dog.”

2010-05-14T15:40:00.000-06:00

Everybody has family sayings that are passed down from generation to generation. In my family, the one’s I remember come from my maternal grandmother’s line. This title is a quote that was scratched on a small piece of paper in my grandmother’s scrap book. We don’t know where it came from. There is no attribution to it. When my mother read it to me I just laughed and laughed. It sums up their whole female philosophy! No one ever said the phrase to me, when I was growing up, but I sure got the message.

A quick internet search shows the quote in many places. Still no attribution. There is one reference to a plumbing supplies dealer that came under fire for having the quote on cards they passed out. It was listed under the heading “4 things a woman should know”. There are many bulletin board posters that include the quote in their signature. Funny how things like that make the rounds.

As I was researching the quote I came upon something interesting. Interesting or shows how dense I am. I always thought the phrase "work like a dog" meant to work very hard and long. Like a sled dog. One of the discussions of this implied that it means work as little as possible. Like my dogs :0) HMM. What does 'work like a dog' mean to you?

Thought For The Day – There is no shortcut to anywhere worth going.

2010-05-13T10:37:00.000-06:00

Title of this blog entry, and the blog entry itself, courtesy of Nick's Blog. Nick's is the first blog I read when I sit down to coffee. It's good for a giggle, or a thought, or a rant, and he makes an entry every day. I look forward to the day I get to meet Nick and Miss Terry down the road.

This thought hits me right at home. With all my nickel squeezing and eating right I have to remember where I'm headed. It will be worth all the hard work. It will be so much fun. I started this blog to find some like minded people, but I've found it has another purpose. I have to keep my goal in sight but remember that the journey is interesting too. I am changing, slowly. Not just getting in better shape and paying off debt. These are good things that, I'm sure are contributing to my better outlook, but I am changing as a person. There are fewer days when I feel like I am just hanging on for dear life. Moments that are actually joyful and, dare I say, peaceful. I think/hope that full time RVing will be my route to making those moments last longer. Makes me wonder where other people find their peace? If you would have told me in October 2010 (RV Dreams Rally in Kerrville), when I was trying RVing for the first time, that it would lead to this... I would have rolled my eyes like a 14 year old girl.

I am not taking any shortcuts (though, if I win the lottery tomorrow I think I could manage) and this is surely a place worth going :0)

Blast from the Past

2010-05-12T00:20:00.000-06:00

Wow I've been tearful (happy tears) and smiling most of the day :0) I have several boxes of cassette tapes that still remain. I've purged some each time I've moved and transferred some to computer a few years ago. At the time, I thought I would hang on to the remainder until I was ready to buy the CD's or let them go. Which brings me to today. I don't want to spend money on new CD's (that I will have to pack in the RV or sell) and I just couldn't bring myself to part with some of them. This project will take a while. All the tapes have to be recorded in real time, then labeled and transferred to my music program. No time like the present to get started.

These tapes are music that meant a lot to me in high school and college. Even had a few mix tapes that were made for me by friends (and an ex, EEK!). I had a tape that I bought at the first Ren Festival I ever worked. Good old fashioned folk music. Anyone out there remember White Snake? "Here I go Again" had been played so much the tape was distorted. I'll have to break down and pay for that one song again (I think this outfit can afford 0.99 for a piece of the soundtrack to my life in the late 80's).

It's amazing how many memories and emotions a song can bring up. Lucky for me, it was ALL good. A special day right here in my Sticks n Bricks :0) Maybe a taste of what it will be like when I get to scanning all the pictures from 3 large picture albums I've been carrying with me since I left my parent's house.

Hope you all had good days too. Take care and be gentle with each other.

Daily Chores and a Couple of treats

2010-05-10T21:22:00.000-06:00

I went to trade the cable box. Short line, nice customer service. That was easy! I did some errands and went to the grocery store. Found almost everything I was looking for and a few treats for my Wii activities. I unloaded the groceries without incident, the dogs were behaved when I was gone (still exhausted from playing with the pack yesterday). The day is getting better. Now, the final hurdle. Time to hook up the new cable box and get it activated. Get the box out of the truck and there is white fuzz all over. HMM. Looking into the vents I find a new pet. Is it a bonus gift from the cable company? I think not! Looks like cable box's previous residence had a white cat that was fond of the cable box. I'm not talking about a little hair, but a full fledged guinea pig sized bunch of fur filling the inside of the box. Now, I'm not one to be picky (especially when it comes to equipment rented from the cable company) but this looked like it may be another mouth to feed. I AM trying to save money after all. On top of that, I know it was cat fur because I immediately started sneezing and itching. ARGH!! Back to the cable office, where there is now a long line. I got the new box installed with minimal trouble and only had to make 2 calls to customer service to get it all going. Tonight... I program. Don't you love getting new electronics and having to put all your settings back in again?

On a positive note, the customer service agent actually said she was embarrassed they sent the messy box out. All the clerks and service agents, I came in contact with, were very nice today. I only saw one road rage driver. My Wii treats for myself were Guitar Hero and Dance Madness. I tried them out, a good time was had by all but the dogs. The crazy dogs cowered in the corner and stared as I flailed around the living room. I am a rockin' dance star only in my own dreams, I will never be for public consumption :0)

Cable Box Is Being Petulant

2010-05-09T09:41:00.000-06:00

How's that for a 'word of the day'?

I've mentioned before that I just LOVE me some TV. So, when the cable box starts to go kaput, I'm a little bummed. It started doing some weird things yesterday. Giving a lot of "please wait" and "downloading" messages. The DVR portion of the box has been flaking out a litlle but the whole box is now refusing to discuss anything with the cable company. So, I'll have to break down the whole thing and take it in to get a new box tomorrow. The good thing is that it has forced me to FINALLY down grade my cable service (leaving me another $40 a month to pay debt with). I've been putting it off because I didn't want to deal with breaking down the whole set up and setting it all back up again. When I moved to this place, my parents helped me fix my huge TV over the fireplace, and set up all the equipment it the adjacent bedroom. It involved power tools and running wires, Not fun. It took 3 people (including an electrician & a mechanical engineer), a LONG day, but It looks really cool! Just the flat screen TV is showing in the living room, none of the boxes that usually surround a TV. That will mean dealing with more wires and using more brain power than I care to on a day off. I'll keep you posted on how it goes. Looking forward to some time of work in 2 weeks. I'm getting vactionitis in a bad way. I'm going to do something special for one day of my vacation but will mostly include enjoying the nice weather and not having to deal with work.

Tornado

2010-05-06T10:37:00.000-06:00

Tornado brings wind phobic to a whole new level!!! I've seen in blogs that campgrounds will have a safe house to go to if a tornado warning is around. It's usually the bathhouse. That's a pretty picture.... My rather significant derriere, 2 crazy dogs (one terrified of thunder), all squeezing in next to the pit toilet while Dorothy flies by. It wouldn't take more than one of those nights to keep me away from Tornado Ally during the season.

Wind Phobic?

2010-05-05T06:24:00.000-06:00

High Wind. I read about people, not having fun, when the wind is blowing. Sounds like an RV is not the optimum place to sleep or to drive when the wind is kicking up. I have a confession to make. I will tolerate ANY other kind of weather besides wind. Gusting wind, especially. It truly makes me disoriented, unhappy, and forgetful. It wears me out. I worked in a psych unit in Wyoming for a little bit. When I was there, we could anticipate more beds being filled when we had wind. In Wyoming, there would be 2-3 days of hard gusty wind at a time. I got out of there as soon as I could. I can see myself moving my RV to avoid wind more than any other weather. I’ll have to make sure I can get wind predictions for my spots in my weather forcast. In Denver and living in a sticks & bricks, wind is not as big a concern for me. I will start watching the weather reports for wind predictions and see if they any more accurate than the other weather predictions :0)

Anticipated Oil Mess on the Gulf Coast.

2010-05-04T11:57:00.000-06:00

'News' reports about the gulf coast oil spill are making me angry. This is a horrible disaster that will have long term ecologic and economic impact.  It IS horrible and IS dramatic. They really don't need to make stuff up. I keep hearing reports that the government 'didn't act soon enough' and 'underestimated the severity' of the spill. Well, the truth is, they assumed it would be the the largest spill ever, from the beginning.   Within 2 days of the fire, they had people, money and stuff en route to the area. Containing and cleaning up the oil.

The 'news' agencies make news that just isn't there.   I'm sure there are a ton of stories out there about why the automatic shut off didn't work. The different clean-up tactics. Companies that make the oil spill clean up stuff and how they are now having to work overtime to keep up with demand. Interviews about what effects the oil will have (they can use file footage for the dramatic pictures). How about interviews/pictures about the oil rig, how it's set up, how the fire started and how the fire effected the safety stuff meant to stop the spill.    Interviewing experts about what plans the oil company has/ or should have in place to handle an oil spill (I'm sure the oil company itself won't be giving any interviews) It goes on & on. There is so much interesting stuff to do, why spend so much time dogging on the government right now? It's not helpful.

RV thoughts for the day:
I hope all the clean up efforts work. I'm looking forward to some RV time on the gulf coast. I've only been in an ocean 2 times and never got to sleep with the sound of waves in the background. The Gulf Coast looked like it would be the cheapest place for me to spend time near the ocean.  I'll keep my fingers crossed that it won't all be covered in sludge by the time I can get there.

Hope all is well out there is blog land and you are not being blown down the road.

Lucky Me!

2010-05-01T08:02:00.000-06:00

Wish it were a post to say I made the lottery... Not so much. Yesterday I got to talk with my Mom. We've both been busy and not connecting much recently. My luck is with my family. I have great support for my plan to hit the road!! They don't treat me like I'm crazy or drill me much :0) Maybe it's because they know I've always been baseline crazy. Also found out that Mom has RV hook ups available at their place. Always nice to have a spot to park. Here's to being the crazy relative, living in an RV and traveling America! Take care All. I'm still plugging. Tax refund checks made big dent in my debt and I'm back on track for being debt free before I move to the RV Feb. 2012.

Just a Quick Note to Say HI

2010-04-27T12:16:00.000-06:00

Hello and thanks for checking in. I'm fine. Dogs are fine. All is o.k. Just busy with life and work. Hope all is well in Blog land.

Thanks Merikay!

2010-04-18T14:23:00.000-06:00

I envy you being able to pay off credit cards 100% monthly. That is certainly the plan for me! My 'found' $350 dollars is absolutely going to the debt, nowhere else. Every nickel I can find is going to the debt. It's my wall, keeping me at home, and away from the wonderful places I read about in all the blogs I follow :0) Thanks for the reminder about the book being dated. It's a good point. I picked some funds with a good track record over time. All of them tanked with everything else a couple years ago and are slowly coming back. I have > 10 years before I will be able to get at that money, I'll keep my fingers crossed.

Hope all is well out there in blog land. It was chilly here yesterday but we're back to beautiful spring Colorado days. Rick & Paulette (with Rylie and Molly of course) are headed this way. I hope to be able to catch up with them for a meal or a trip to the dog park :0)

I watched the movie Mama Mia last night. I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. It's definitely a sweet, feel good, movie. There are times, that kind of movie just hits the spot. It's the first silly movie I've see Meryl Streep in. It was fun. The DVD even has a feature where you can Karaoke along with musical numbers. Good smile break before bed!! Working again this afternoon, and well into the night. Another day closer to life on the road.

Learning Something New

2010-04-17T14:23:00.000-06:00

I got my taxes sent in and will have some more money to pay against my debt. I was looking at my retirement funds and discovered 2 things. I've been putting $350 from each paycheck into a retirement fund at work. That's a good thing. But if I'm going to follow Dave Ramsey's plan, I need to stop that until I get all debt except my house paid. That will be more money, each month, to pay my debt off. I was also checking to see if the IRA's I have are allocated the way he recommends. I found $8,000 that was just sitting there!! It was earning some interest but not in any kind of investements. I had to do some research and find some funds to put the money into. That done, I feel less broke LOL. Not money I can use towards full-timing but It will be there later, and It's working for me now!! I was also happy to learn that the job I have doesn't pay into social security. It's kind of a quasi state gov't job and we don't pay into social security. Out money is invested in a retirement plan. One plan was stopped the year after I started my job but It's still there for those of us that got into it. Being the non-money, person that I am, I never changed it. The research I've done indicates that was a good plan LOL. Sometimes we just luck out I guess :0) Since my biggest worries about this life change are financial, it makes me feel better to know that I have been planning for my older age, even without trying much. Working from home today. Time to bring in some more of that cash. Another day closer to being OUT OF HERE!!

I Scared the Dogs

2010-04-11T22:12:00.000-06:00

So I've been dieting. I've allowed myself one meal per week to eat junk food. I've been sticking to it well. This week I went out to dinner with a friend and had some chicken friend steak at Texas Roadhouse YUMM. So that was my junk food dinner, on Thursday.  Dinner was soo good, I ordered one to go and ate it for lunch the next day (yikes). So that was a second junk food meal, on Friday. So, this is Sunday. I was DYING for a McDonald's hamburger and fries. Thinking about it all day. It would come up.. I would turn my thoughts to something else... It would pop into my brain again. And so on.   So work is finished and the craving is really bad. I'm trying to talk myself into hot tea. There is some broccoli/chicken/rice left over from lunch. Lot's of options. I should eat and, then I won't be hungry and the craving will go away. Right? RIGHT.

Now keep in mind that I spend a good part of my work day listening to excuses, rationalizations, and down right lies. All kinds of things people will say so they can talk themselves out of doing what they already know they need to do. I'm pretty conscious about rationalizations and, I don't use them. If I want to do something, I do it. I take responsibility for my choices and I do it. No excuses. People that use rationalizations and silly excuses are often the butt of my sarcasm when I'm not being paid to be nice.

So I'm cleaning up after work and still fighting with my Junk food craving in the back of my brain (for gosh sakes this has been going on ALL afternoon). It's 7:40 now and I'm looking in the refrig. What goes through my brain? "that dinner out wasn't all THAT bad, it was just meat and potatos and I even had green stuff" (note: the 'green stuff' was a handful of ceasar salad and the meat was deep FRIED)

Stopped me dead in my tracks!! I said out loud to my empty house of fish & dogs.  WHAT?  You did NOT just think that!! And I repeated the whole sentence, out loud, adding my own special sarcastic twist I would use when talking to someone else. I couldn't help but laugh, I just started laughing. I mean like HEE Hawing.

The dogs actually left the room. I'm so embarrassed.

I made one last attempt to talk my brain out of it. I thought I could make a yummy, healthy turkey meat loaf that I like. My brain's brilliant response... "yeah, but that would take so long to make that you would be eating < 2 hours before you go to sleep and that's not good"

I didn't even repeat this one out loud. I just laughed all the way out the door to my truck :0)

Needless to say I got my burger & fries.  The dogs recovered. I haven't quite recovered my dignity yet :0)   Just shaking my head at the amazing power of the human brain.

Money, MOney, MONey, MONEy, MONEY

2010-04-11T08:51:00.000-06:00

I don't read books much. I have a reading problem, kind of like dyslexia, that makes it difficult for me to read off of paper. As more & more things are now on the computer, I've found that I can read pretty easily on the computer. I just use the mouse to track my place and it's a breeze. I do my reading, for pleasure, by listening to books on tape. I have been listening to Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover . The book has strategies for getting out of debt and financially independent. Mr Ramsey actually does the narration for his AudioBook. I like the ones that are read by the authors best. I've only seen Mr. Ramsey's T.V. show once or twice. I remember thinking that he might need to be just a tad medicated :0) His book narration is tame, in comparison. If you've been reading this blog, you know I'm not practiced with money management. To be honest, money freaks me out. I'm not in a huge amount of debt, but I want to be debt free before I hit the road. The biggest reason for my delay in hitting the road is wanting to be debt free and have 6 mos living expenses ahead before I make the big change. In this book, he talks about getting "gazelle intense" when starting to pay off debt. Selling EVERYTHING possible and getting an extra job if necessary. He does the math to show how, a little extra here & there, quickly adds up. Got me thinking, what could I do to get moving faster? I don't need to pick up an extra job. My job offers enough overtime, I could get some extra hours easily. I don't have a fancy car to sell, but there are things I could make some money on. These are things I won't be taking on the road anyway. It's something to think about. After listening to the book I logged on to check my credit card. I just about vomited when I realized how much I'm paying the card company each month in interest. Good thing I'm paying that off first. What a scam they've got going there. I just can't believe that's legal. I've only got $10,000 credit card debt. I can only imagine what people with these huge credit card balances are paying monthly. If they only pay the minimum payment, they'll never make it out. No wonder it's so hard for people to get out of debt.

Hope all is well out there. Take care of each other. Thanks for stopping by.

Running Around

2010-04-09T12:39:00.000-06:00

I've come to terms with dogs in coats over the years. Little, dogs, when it's really cold or wet. Yesterday, I had a moment. I went out to pull in the trash can and what do I see? Runner on the trail, early in the morning is not a surprise. A very attractive woman in her jacket, ear warmers, and gloves jogging happily (o.k. I don't know how happy she was but I didn't have a camera and it makes a pretty picture doesn't it?) along with her big dog. The dog had a coat on. My initial thought was, come on! it's not that cold! Then I checked the thermometer and it was 30 degrees outside. The dog was a short haired, skinny dog. He was big though. Just looked odd. I wonder how the dog felt about it :0) ?

You'd think I would be used to it by now.

2010-04-07T09:29:00.001-06:00

It's April 7th for gosh sakes!! 70 degrees + just 2 days ago. Woke up to snow, wet and cold this morning. The weather forcast plugin, on my desktop, showed that it was raining all day yesterday. Was a little windy but no rain here, not any, all day. Work is good about letting us work from home when the weather is dodgy. So I called, what do I have to loose? Only to discover, I was already scheduled to work from home, AND, not until an hour later than I thought. OMG I was looking at the wrong day on my calendar. Tomorrow, I have to work in the office. This is the second time that has happened recently. At least, this time, I didn't make it all the way to the office and have to find something to do for 2 hours before work officially started. Am I loosing it? Probably :0) Needless to say, I'm working from home today. That's Awesome! Well, maybe, not awesome (I'm still working after all) but not as bad and driving downtown to work in a crowded office.

Missing out on the RV Dreams rally. I am following the blogs, and we're All there in spirit, me and the crazy dogs.

Found Another Woman to Follow

2010-04-06T14:51:00.001-06:00

I have located another solo female that is out and about. Her Blog is Minnie Minerva. Her writing is intriguing. She mixes the mystical aspects and practical facts of RV living into a fascinating blog. She has allowed me a different perspective on all the changes I'm feeling as I work towards my goal. I will focus my thoughts more on going with the flow and embracing the process (o.k. I just have to find other words for that, that phrase makes me cringe a little). My, more practical brain is saying "Just Get a Grip, you are growing up and learning All about delayed gratification." I think Susan's approach sounds better and is, definitely, more productive. I'll work on it.

IF I was living the life I want, already... I'd be at that RV-Dreams Rally right now. Probably heading out to the circle of friends forming around Howard and Linda's 5er.

If Only...

2010-04-04T12:17:00.000-06:00

I'm SO jealous. Reading about the other full-timers I follow.

If I were full-timing right now, I would be well on my way to the RV-Dreams Rally at Willow Tree Resort . I would have stayed somewhere around Chattanooga, TN last night. Nice weather expected in Chattanooga. A little cloudy, but temps ranging in the 50s to 70's. Would have been a little chilly to walk the dogs this morning but jeans or sweat pants would have been plenty. Now, would be coffee time. Staring out the window at, who knows,

Not the best view, but I'll take it over having to answer the phone all day in my home office. I think I'll put in 2 hours driving today, head south on I-75 then E on I-20 at Atlanta and stop for overnight in Covington, GA. This is the courthouse, built in 1884. They've had a bunch of movies filmed in this little town according to Wiki Now, the question of where to stay.. The only place I found on an internet search was Riverside Estates Mobile Home & RV Park. Says they have 172 full hookup sites, paved roads and laundry. No pics or prices. I guess if I were really doing this I would call them and see what's up. Is that what full-timers do? I could call the Chamber of Commerce and ask if there are places to park an RV in town. They wouldn't be open on a Sunday :-(. Looks like there is also a place called Salem Camp Ground in town. No phone numbers, pics or information provided. Oops not even sure if that one is a real camp ground looks like a place of worship. OHH HERE. Stone Mountain State Park is a 2 hour drive. That looks like the ticket. It's first come, first serve. I'll have to call and see if they have a place. I'll be they will if I wait until the afternoon to leave. $37 dollar per night for a partial hook up site. Sounds more like a place to stay for a few days not an overnight. EE GADS. This is fun, but more complicated than I thought. At this rate, I'll never make it to the Rally on time. Maybe I should just do a search for Walmarts along my route. I think I need an Atlas. Mapquest is just not going to cut it LOL. So, there are 2 Walmart supercenters in Augusta, GA (4 hr drive from Chattanooga). Do I just call and ask if they allow overnight camping?

HOW UNFAIR

2010-04-01T23:48:00.001-06:00

I made a mistake on my post. I've just realized this, as I check off my accomplisments for the day. I have accomplished few of my goals.

Sleep 8 hours and no more CHECK
Shower every other day CHECK I showered today
8 glasses of water per day (64 oz) I've made 48 oz so far
6 servings of fruit/veg only 2
Move 30 minutes per day NOPE

I am a strong advocate for bootstraps and taking care of yourself. I've just now realized that I've missed something, that is required in the daily goals, for all these years.

One of my daily goals HAS to be earn some $$ money! How did I miss that. It's not in any of the, 'live your life to it's potential' books. I have the all lined up in my library. Unfortunately, it was not in the daily goals my momma taught me. Yet somehow I got it. I've been putting 'earn money' on the priority list forever it seems.

Gee, that sounds like I have now got tons of money. Not so much... I am not dependent on anyone but myself (and probably these goofy dogs :0) Not bad for 43 y/o female.

SO... making money has been added to my daily minimal goals. Along with eating 6 servings of fruit/veg per day lol.

Unless wine counts as fruit servings... I'm behind today. I did earn money, a good chunk of money, today. That's a big one!

3 out of 6 today.

How will it go tomorrow?

Progress and Boot Straps

2010-04-01T10:56:00.000-06:00

I'm 10 pounds down and my credit card debt is 1/3 less than when I started. YAY ME!! It's a daily grind. Part of my route to full-timing seems to be learning about delayed gratification. I find it ironic that I have to perfect my ability to delay gratification in order to live a life on the fly. Makes me smile.

I've found my boot straps and picking them up. I'm not pulling on them yet, but I'm working on it. I spend too much time feeling sorry for myself. I fight with my head regularly. I tend toward melancholy and inaction more than I want to admit. Once in a while, in order to overcome my brain, I have to get a regular schedule going. I have to make lists of the basics and stick to it. The same stuff everyone knows to do to be a well-rounded person. Regular sleep schedule, Shower regularly, Drink 8 glasses of water, no fast food, 6 servings fruit/veggies per day, move 30 minutes per day. Not very exciting, but harder to do than it sounds.

This is a great time of year in Colorado. Spring brings some unpredictable weather but it is also a time to get outside and take deep breaths. I even heard some birds singing this morning :0)

What the Heck?

2010-03-26T19:56:00.000-06:00

I was looking at my past posts and saw the one titled Funky Weather. Says nothing about weather?? I didn't finish my story LOL. So, for the rest of the story.

The woman who bought my motorcycle has been saving and waiting for months. Since last November I think. She was initially going to get it in Jan but then something unexpected came up and she had to spend money on that. Then, she was expecting some money that was delayed about 2 weeks. She finally had the money and told me she was ready to pick it up. I couldn't sell it that day because the battery was dead. We made an appointment for her to pick it up on Tuesday morning. Monday night, I threw the battery on the charger. I didn't double check that it was actually charging, never had a problem before. I go out to garage Tuesday morning to wipe down the bike and put the seat back on. Battery is still dead. ARGH! So I had to hurry, call her, tell her it was a no go. The disappointment in her voice was heart breaking. I located and bought a new battery. Luckily, it comes mostly charged. I installed the new battery with little trouble. By this time, she no longer had a ride to my house. So, I got her address, programmed the GPS and went to go get her. I had put in address on N. Monaco instead of S Monaco. So, of course, I went to the wrong house. I didn't have her phone number (forgot it at home) so I couldn't do anything but reprogram the GPS and head out again. I finally find her house, and her. By this time, I'm starting to think. Maybe this is just not meant to happen today. Should I take a clue? She was SO excited to get the bike and I really wanted to get the sale over with. Once she got to see the motorcycle. I got her on it, gave her a little orientation to the whistles and bells, and it started right up. She was a little overwhelmed with the size. Evidentally she has ridden motorcyles before but they were crotch rockets and dirt bikes, not cruisers. She was feeling uncomfortable in turns, taking them a little wide. I offered for us to put the sale off, but she didn't want to. I agreed to lead her out to the main road in my truck and follow her home if she needed it. Once we got to the main road, she waved me off, telling me she was comfortable to go the rest of the way home. I made a U-turn and headed back home. Within 5 minutes of getting home, it starts HAILING!! Crazy Hard. The prediction was for snow, starting tonight but no one said anything about hail. I panic! OMG we shouldn't have done this. She's gonna wipe out on the bike!! I know we shouldn't have done this today!! I called her cell phone and left a message for her to call me.................... A LONG 15 minutes later, my phone rings. Thank God! She's home, safe, and THRILLED. A little cold but none the worse for wear. Says she now is comfortable turning and riding the bike LOL. She's going to enjoy the heck out of that thing. It has a good home. My motorcycle now even has a name. She is called Miss Scarlet :0)

Bye Bye Miss Scarlet. Have a nice life and stay upright for her. Will Ya?

Any Family

2010-03-23T19:27:00.000-06:00

"Even a flawed family, that sticks together, is better than no family at all."

-- David #1, Surfwise, 2007 --

Funky Weather

2010-03-23T18:27:00.001-06:00

Sold my motorcycle today. It's o.k. I know it is. My Brain is screaming LOUD. You CAN'T let this go.. you've wanted it for so long. I've wanted a motorcycle since I was 8 years old. I was caught, with my brother, riding a dirt bike in a neighbors backyard. BAD THING. My father had seen a horrible motorcycle accident, when he was a teen, and FORBADE us from EVER riding a motorcycle. I finally bought one and took a class when I was 37. I had an Awesome Vulcan Classic 1500 and wrecked it within the year. Broke my leg and learned a big lesson. Once I recovered, I bought a Honda Shadow 750 (750 is what I should have started with). The Honda was the one I sold today. The girl I sold it too LOVES it and will put it to good use.

I've decided to use tow a car instead of taking my motorcycle on the road. They rent motorcycles though, don't they? I will keep my helmet, gloves, boots and jacket!! I know I can ride, I have the license :0)

Family teaches us a LOT. Influences what we will become.

Laundry Day

2010-03-22T15:45:00.000-06:00

Today is a beautiful DAY. All the windows are open. My last entry said it was snowing up a big storm. It really has NOT been that long since I posted. Wecome to Denver. Don't like the weather?.. Just give it 10 minutes . Tomorrow I sell my motorcycle. There is a person at work that has been saving to buy it for months. I'm getting a fair price. I had anticipating buying another before I did the RV thing, now, maybe not. It's a little sad but I'm selling this one because it's not the most comfortable bike for me. For now, I'd rather be able to use the money to pay off some credit card debt.

Project for today is to do laundry, find the motorcycle title and get the battery charged. I just realized, this morning, that the tires may be low. I hope not. I'll keep you posted. Hope all is well out there in blog land.

Thinking and Thinking

2010-03-19T15:07:00.000-06:00

Just nothing to say. Working, saving, working some more. RV day dreams and living vicariously through the blogs I follow.

Snowing today. They are trying to talk it in to being a big nasty storm. These spring storms have really wet snow and have the potential to really do some harm. Luckily it has been warm for a week or so. Streets and sidewalks are just wet. No snow sticking right now. It's nice to have the snow make everything all pretty but not dangerous driving.

Hope all is well out there today. Take care and be gentle with each other

American Idol

2010-03-17T20:26:00.000-06:00

I am a reality show junky. For sure. Priority for the motorhome is satellite TV. I love to watch people and TV is a part of that. Of all the reality shows, American Idol is not my fav.

Tonight, I was catching up. I wait for a performer that gives me goose bumps &/or makes me cry. It's a hobby.

So I'm watching the show I recorded last night. It's the Rolling Stones for gosh sakes. If anything (besides country music) can give me goose bumps and make me cry, it's got to be the Rolling Stones. No one did it. One came close but then she messed up the lyrics and I lost it. All of a sudden, I'm watching a girl perform and I notice the number to vote during her song. I claimed conspiracy and reversed the recording to see if they did that with others. They do it with every one. HMMM what makes her performance draw me to the numbers?

I guess if I could figure that out... I'd be able to make RVmoney coaching American Idol wannabes. Let me go study this some more...

Documetaries

2010-03-16T12:55:00.000-06:00

I Love to watch documentaries and I have been in HOG HEAVEN. I have seen everthing from a movie following contemporary philosophers with a hand held camera (Examined Life 2008) to a movie that examines the "who knew what, when" leading up to the attack on the Twin Towers (9/11: Press for Truth). I wasn't thrilled with the philosophy movie. Couldn't even finish it. When the second philosopher started using 1000 point scrabble words, 3-4 per sentence, I just couldn't handle it. The phrase 'pompous ASS' kept running through my head. I'll have to try that one another day, maybe. The 9/11 movie was interesting. It started with a website, linking different news stories. As people found the website, it got lots of attention, and was eventually turned into a book that lead to the documentary.

I enjoy most all documentaries but I like the ones that explore normal people and how they work through their unusual experiences. There is a documentary, I saw once, that I have been looking for. It was about a homeless man that received a large amount of money, and the documentary followed him over 2 years to see what would happen. I can't remember the name of it.

I am not a political person. My personal decision has been, to not get involved. In my beliefs, that means I can't bitch about it. I don't believe in people just bitching without offering solutions. In the past, when I've started to get involved, I just become frustrated and angry. When I start getting frustrated I stutter and bluster and basically loose my brain. I don't argue well. I'm one of those people that has to think before I can respond intelligently to anything. Debating on my feet, about issues that matter to me, is not a skill I posess.

I also like "behind the scenes" documentaries. My recent 2 favorites have been Shut Up And Sing and Every Little Step

Shut Up and Sing: Follows the Dixie Chicks through the craziness that occurred after the lead singer (Natalie Maines) said she was ashamed of President Bush, on stage, at a concert in London (2003). Seems they forgot, or didn't realize, that people watched their every action/word. I guess the packed concert venues and millions of dollars the had earned performing were not enough of a clue :0) That was an expensive vowel she purchased.

Every Little Step: Shows the audition and casting process for a revival of, A Chorus Line, on Broadway. The dancers are, as always, amazing.

Beautiful day today. I have all the windows open. Life is not so rough :0) Hope all is well out there is blogland. Thanks for stopping by.