Still waiting...

Put my app in at a near by hosp on Friday.  Confirmed they rec'd it today.  Just waiting...  waiting...  waiting... and trying to maintain what little is left of my sanity,  At least I'm medicated LOL (remember the Prozac I got for quitting smoking?).  Now I'm medicated and Smoking so all should be right with the world, Right? 

Good news:  Credit Card paid off.  Found a person that wants to buy my old truck for a good price.  So in addition to the craziness of this schedule & emotions of switching jobs, I'm hunting for a Toad.  I need to get it before I switch jobs since I'll need to finance it.  The search helps me to remember what is important and keep my eyes on the prize.  I'm just having such a hard time focusing, I have to do it in short bursts.  Glad there's lot's of good info out there about it, and it's a buyers market. 

In regards to Travel Nursing...  That's my back up plan if I can't make enough money doing medical transcription.  I like the idea of just working a few hours every day, from the rig, as opposed to commuting to a job for 40 hours per week.  Hope all is well out in blog land.  I've just barely been able to skim some blogs.  Take care and be gentle with each other. 

I'm So Upset Now But this will End

I'm really not one to hold grudges, but I can't get past this new schedule set up at work.  I have shifted my sleeping schedule.  Trained myself so I can sleep 7-8 hours between 0300 & 1100 every day (even my days off).  I'm just miserable and angry.  I am truly living to work right now and not much living going on.  I had a hard time working this kind of schedule when I was in my twenties, things have not gotten better with time.  On days I work, I am working & sleeping & miserable.  On days I have off, I'm trying to keep my life intact with laundry, groceries, and giving the crazy dogs attention once in a while.  Unfortunately, blogging is not fitting in there.  Is part of this feeling sorry for myself? Probably.  But it also truly SUCKS.  No one should have a permanent schedule like this, except maybe, Keith Richards :0)

Drama is not my thing.  I'm putting an end to this.  I haven't heard from the job I really want but I have someone inside, hopefully, working for me.  I have even offerred to take the job at lower pay, in the beginning, so I can get the training.  I'm going to give them 2 weeks to get back to me.  That means, two weeks from yesterday, I head out to hospitals near me and put in my application.  Stinks that the economy is even affecting nursing jobs.  Nurses that have been working only part time or have left nursing, are returning because the major wage earner in the household has lost their job.  I never would have thought it would affect nursing, but there you have it. 

I've been playing a game called...  Better or Worse than the job I have now??  There are truly some jobs that would be worse.  Like: Jr. High School Teacher, Parking lot Repaver, Public Gym Janitor, Pediatric ICU nurse.  There are others.  Can this be today's version of counting my blessings?  I am thankful I have what I have.  No one is starving, the bills are being paid, and I will have this job as long as I want it.   I'm still putting in an honest days work and trying not to bad mouth or gripe about my current job when I'm there.   The longer this goes on, more other jobs look better :0)

The short story is that me and the crazy dogs are fine, we're hanging in there.  Still planning on full-time by March 2012.  I will find you all out there.  Hope all is well, I haven't been able to follow blogs recently.  Take care and be gentle with yourselves. 

Wishing I had more Energy

I am doing quick update again.  I did not get the specific job I was applying for, the manager said he would keep my application on file and let me know if there is another opening.  After all the thinking & listing I did, before I applied for the job, I can't go back to the way things were.  I want to make the change, back to direct patient care.  Luckily, I still have a job, so no one is starving here :0)  If I had any doubt, I only have to take my personal test.  Ask myself, "If I knew for sure that I would die in 6 months, what would I do different?"  The answer is:  I would put this house on the market, buy whatever RV I could afford, and hit the road.   I can't do that for now, because I don't know for sure.  It does tell me I need to make changes as soon as possible.  Inertia is a hard thing to overcome.  It's so much easier, in the short run, to just keep the status quo.  Change takes cojones and energy.  I used to have cojones somewhere.  I'm working on both :0)  Hope all is well out there.  Take care and be gentle with each other. 

Yes, this May be My first big step.

Short update!  Just got back from interview for the new job.  I'm crazy nervous and excited.  I think the interview went well but only time will tell.  I'm a horrible liar so I was just up front with them about why I am leaving my current job.  I'm still on track to start full-timing by March 2012.  Current job schedule is still making me sleep deprived.  Most thankful today, for my RN.  Which means there will always be a job for me, anywhere & anytime.  In the current economy, that's invaluable. 

Will This Be My First Big Step?

I am smart enough not to leave a job in anger or make hasty decisions.  So I made some lists, I like lists.  Getting it all out there in black and white.  All the pros and cons, over a couple of days.  I had made the decision to move on from my job.  Then, they got wind of it and sat me down for a chat.  They have made some minor adjustments to my schedule, for now, and assure me that 2-3 months I will get the shift I want.  I'm confident I will get part of what I want, schedule-wise, but that doesn't fix the rest of my list.  I've promised I will reconsider.  In the process of considering all this, I rec'd my yearly statement from my retirement plan that informs me if I hang in there for a mere 12 more years, I will get $3,000+ dollars per month, with full benefits for the rest of my life.  WHAT TIMING!  It's like something, out there is just checking to make sure I'm really sure.  It's difficult to make the decision to turn my back on a sure thing.  Since my brain has been messing with me most of my life, I've gone through lots of times when I've had to just buckle down and hold on.  During those times, I've told myself,  'there are only 3 things you HAVE to do' 1. Stay out of jail 2. Support yourself financially 3. Pay taxes.  I've done that, and if I stick with what I am doing, for the next 12 years, it will be completed.  This job may change, but it's not going anywhere, I will have this job for the next 12 years if I want it.  I have accomplished my lifelong goal. 

So, the question is...  Is that enough for me? Do I want to live that way? Do I want to wait? Is it worth the risk?  What are the risks? Who could I hurt? What's the worst case scenario? Who do I want to be? What kind of life do I want? What is out there, that I will miss? What are the benefits?

I've been thinking that these are also questions I would be asking myself as I got closer to my take-off date.  This job issue has just brought it up sooner.  You see, the majority of pros, on my list for getting a new job, had to do with how it work into my full-timing in 1.5 years.  If it weren't for that goal, there would not be enough good reasons to leave what I have now.

For now, I'm still thinking and making lists.  I work this weekend and have made arrangements to bounce some things off my brother on Monday.  I think I've already made my decision but it changes.  Thank goodness I have a week off in two weeks.  I'll keep you posted. 

Hope all is well out in blogland.  I'm trying to keep up with the blogs I follow, but this schedule does not suit me.  I'm basically working and sleeping.  Not much more.  I've gained back the 20 pounds I lost and I'm smoking again (both things that are pushing me towards a new job).  I feel like I'm in a haze.

Update

Just a quick one to say that I have made a decision.  The next 2 days I find/update my resume and investigate a new job I'm interested in. 

Absent Blogger

Sorry I haven't been writing.  Work is making me crazy! They've totally hosed up my schedule and I had to work some overnight shifts.  Not feeling very thankful about anything right now.  Might be thankful for a new job soon.  Hope all is well out there in Blogland.  Dogs and me are o.k. here, except the whole work thing.