Saturday, August 21, 2010

Will This Be My First Big Step?

I am smart enough not to leave a job in anger or make hasty decisions.  So I made some lists, I like lists.  Getting it all out there in black and white.  All the pros and cons, over a couple of days.  I had made the decision to move on from my job.  Then, they got wind of it and sat me down for a chat.  They have made some minor adjustments to my schedule, for now, and assure me that 2-3 months I will get the shift I want.  I'm confident I will get part of what I want, schedule-wise, but that doesn't fix the rest of my list.  I've promised I will reconsider.  In the process of considering all this, I rec'd my yearly statement from my retirement plan that informs me if I hang in there for a mere 12 more years, I will get $3,000+ dollars per month, with full benefits for the rest of my life.  WHAT TIMING!  It's like something, out there is just checking to make sure I'm really sure.  It's difficult to make the decision to turn my back on a sure thing.  Since my brain has been messing with me most of my life, I've gone through lots of times when I've had to just buckle down and hold on.  During those times, I've told myself,  'there are only 3 things you HAVE to do' 1. Stay out of jail 2. Support yourself financially 3. Pay taxes.  I've done that, and if I stick with what I am doing, for the next 12 years, it will be completed.  This job may change, but it's not going anywhere, I will have this job for the next 12 years if I want it.  I have accomplished my lifelong goal. 

So, the question is...  Is that enough for me? Do I want to live that way? Do I want to wait? Is it worth the risk?  What are the risks? Who could I hurt? What's the worst case scenario? Who do I want to be? What kind of life do I want? What is out there, that I will miss? What are the benefits?

I've been thinking that these are also questions I would be asking myself as I got closer to my take-off date.  This job issue has just brought it up sooner.  You see, the majority of pros, on my list for getting a new job, had to do with how it work into my full-timing in 1.5 years.  If it weren't for that goal, there would not be enough good reasons to leave what I have now.

For now, I'm still thinking and making lists.  I work this weekend and have made arrangements to bounce some things off my brother on Monday.  I think I've already made my decision but it changes.  Thank goodness I have a week off in two weeks.  I'll keep you posted. 

Hope all is well out in blogland.  I'm trying to keep up with the blogs I follow, but this schedule does not suit me.  I'm basically working and sleeping.  Not much more.  I've gained back the 20 pounds I lost and I'm smoking again (both things that are pushing me towards a new job).  I feel like I'm in a haze.

Monday, August 16, 2010


Just a quick one to say that I have made a decision.  The next 2 days I find/update my resume and investigate a new job I'm interested in. 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Absent Blogger

Sorry I haven't been writing.  Work is making me crazy! They've totally hosed up my schedule and I had to work some overnight shifts.  Not feeling very thankful about anything right now.  Might be thankful for a new job soon.  Hope all is well out there in Blogland.  Dogs and me are o.k. here, except the whole work thing. 

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

If I'm smoking in my dreams does that count?

My GOSH second night dreaming of smoking.  Good thing is that they aren't good dreams.  Some are nightmares where I get into horrible situations because I am smoking.  People chasing me and grabbing the cigares out of my mouth.  Some dreams are just weird situations and all of a sudden I'm lighting a half smoked cigarette.  The dreams kept waking me up during the night last night.  I guess if dream cigarettes don't give me breathing trouble and don't cost me money I'm safe :0)

  • Days off from work
  • clothes washer
  • clean sheets
  • big shower
  • house cleaner

Monday, August 2, 2010

Reactions from Other People

I LOVE to talk about my plans to RV.  I will tell anyone, anytime.  It gets me excited, just talking about it :0)  Most people just nod and smile,  "that sounds like fun" or "really?" Every once in a while, someone will ask a question and...  I'm Off and running! blah blah blawdy blah blah.  To a person, the response has been "Wow, you've really thought about this a lot"  As I'm writing this, I realize my response to inquiries may be a bit overwhelming to people :0)     Maybe I should tone it down a little?   They are just trying to be nice, ask questions and I flood them with information.  HMMM  Here I go, living and learning again.  This was going to be a blog about how silly people are.  OF COURSE I've thought about this.  I'm turning my whole life over.  BIG changes need some big planning.  Besides, I need to do something while I'm waiting for my bills to get paid off.    I'll try and tone down my answer to RV living questions and see if the response changes??

  • air conditioning. 
  • nicotine lozenges
  • my DVR so I don't miss favorite TV while I'm working
  • being able to work from home most days. 
  • computer games to relax with