Bitter Sweet?

My last day at the call center.   I've had soooo many sweet e-mails.  I realize what affect I can have.  I've never really understood what bittersweet was until tonight.  I will progress and pay my bills and feed my canine family.  I will!!!!     It will be o.k.  I am a fighter... I am working for my dream!!!

Quick Note

Yee HA!  Actually got 7 straight hours of sleep last night.  This will be my last day working in the office and the dogs first ride in the new car.  Could be an adventure.  Also have to get the new car's oil changed & fluids checked for winter.  Leaving to do that in about 10 minutes. 

Answering questions:  List of towable vehicles with all the pertinent info can be found at the motorhome magazine website.  They do a "Dinghy Round-up" each year, for the past few years.  The articles are in adobe format on the web.  Check this link.  http://www.motorhomemagazine.com/dinghytowingguide/  
Yes, some of the cars are automatics.  This is the list I started my hunt with, and the one I kept referring to, during my car hunt. 

Take care everyone!  Be gentle with each other. 

Kind of Still Waiting, Kind of on the Road

O.k.  so I put in my notice at work, and I don't have a job to go to and I just took on a loan and bought a new (to me) car.  Sounds like a mess Huh?  I know, it sounds like a mess to my inner financial manager I've been working so hard to develop for the last year (remember? me,  money management, not my strong point, have to fix that before I go on road..  It's been getting better but now she's got this irritating banshee like wail going on in my head.  My mother was never this much of a nag.)

You will have to forgive me, this schedule is still killing me.  I get about one day a week when I get a full 8 hours, uninterrupted sleep.  I have always known I needed 7-8 hour sleep a night to function well, but I've never gone this long, this sleep deprived.  I've found that I become a total, flakey, ditzy, unfocused, tearful, mess when I don't get enough sleep.  I was hanging in and waiting for a new job to come through.  Needless to say, the descriptors I gave in the previous sentence do not add up to a strong interviewee :0).  I haven't gotten any offers.  I have some vacation time built up at work, my plan was to request days off here and there so I could hang in there until a new job came through.  Then I discovered I had made a mistake.  It wasn't a dangerous or horrible mistake.  No one was hurt,  I'm not sure anyone else even noticed, it was all fine.  It wasn't a mistake I ever would have made if I was getting enough sleep.   To me, it was a signal, a red flag that it was time to go.  I submitted 3 weeks notice the day I found the mistake.  So my last day is October 23rd.  Since I totally blew an interview (I won't go into details, it involved crying.  If the place made me an offer I wouldn't work for them because they are obviously stupid or so desperate they've lost all sense of judgement), I've quit interviewing until I get my schedule back on track.  I will be doing agency nursing until something better comes up.  That involves lots of flexibility and hard work.  Time to dig out the stethescope, nursing shoes and scrubs I haven't used in years.    It's not easy work, but it will pay the bills, hopefully the perfect job will come in soon. 

In the mean time, I have to get my toad before I leave my job so I will still qualify for a loan.  My friends; flaky, crazy and  easily distracted were shopping for a toad :0)  What a circus.  Let's just have a moment of silence for the poor car salesmen I dealt with.  My short term memory is useless at this point.  Here I am with my list of towable cars, and my edmonds.com evaluations for the cars I'm interested in, trying to explain the the salesman why I could care less about the colors or the options the car has.  Also trying to explain that the towable and curb weight part of the equation are deal breakers.  So, I pick up my new (to me) car on Friday.  The man will pay me for the rest of the truck and pick it up on Saturday morning.  My last day of work is one week from Saturday.  ARGH!!!!

If you want to check it out, my toad is a 2009 Chevy HHT in dark Grey.  Front wheel drive, automatic.  It has lot's of cargo space for the crazy dogs and the whole cargo area is covered in hard plastic.  Cargo area is big enough that I will be able to haul my bicycle in the car when I'm on the road.  It is kind of funny looking, but cute, and it's growing on me.  According to edmonds, I got a very fair price on the car. 

Counting my Blessings: 

• Crazy dogs that are as baffled by weird schedule as I am.  They make me smile every day
• My sense of humor (if you've seen the dog in the movie UP!, I am him these days... SQUIRREL!)
• My nursing license that gives me earning power no matter what. 

So sorry for long time between posts.  I will keep you posted.  Hope all is well out there is blog land.  Be gentle with each other. 

Still waiting...

Put my app in at a near by hosp on Friday.  Confirmed they rec'd it today.  Just waiting...  waiting...  waiting... and trying to maintain what little is left of my sanity,  At least I'm medicated LOL (remember the Prozac I got for quitting smoking?).  Now I'm medicated and Smoking so all should be right with the world, Right? 

Good news:  Credit Card paid off.  Found a person that wants to buy my old truck for a good price.  So in addition to the craziness of this schedule & emotions of switching jobs, I'm hunting for a Toad.  I need to get it before I switch jobs since I'll need to finance it.  The search helps me to remember what is important and keep my eyes on the prize.  I'm just having such a hard time focusing, I have to do it in short bursts.  Glad there's lot's of good info out there about it, and it's a buyers market. 

In regards to Travel Nursing...  That's my back up plan if I can't make enough money doing medical transcription.  I like the idea of just working a few hours every day, from the rig, as opposed to commuting to a job for 40 hours per week.  Hope all is well out in blog land.  I've just barely been able to skim some blogs.  Take care and be gentle with each other. 

I'm So Upset Now But this will End

I'm really not one to hold grudges, but I can't get past this new schedule set up at work.  I have shifted my sleeping schedule.  Trained myself so I can sleep 7-8 hours between 0300 & 1100 every day (even my days off).  I'm just miserable and angry.  I am truly living to work right now and not much living going on.  I had a hard time working this kind of schedule when I was in my twenties, things have not gotten better with time.  On days I work, I am working & sleeping & miserable.  On days I have off, I'm trying to keep my life intact with laundry, groceries, and giving the crazy dogs attention once in a while.  Unfortunately, blogging is not fitting in there.  Is part of this feeling sorry for myself? Probably.  But it also truly SUCKS.  No one should have a permanent schedule like this, except maybe, Keith Richards :0)

Drama is not my thing.  I'm putting an end to this.  I haven't heard from the job I really want but I have someone inside, hopefully, working for me.  I have even offerred to take the job at lower pay, in the beginning, so I can get the training.  I'm going to give them 2 weeks to get back to me.  That means, two weeks from yesterday, I head out to hospitals near me and put in my application.  Stinks that the economy is even affecting nursing jobs.  Nurses that have been working only part time or have left nursing, are returning because the major wage earner in the household has lost their job.  I never would have thought it would affect nursing, but there you have it. 

I've been playing a game called...  Better or Worse than the job I have now??  There are truly some jobs that would be worse.  Like: Jr. High School Teacher, Parking lot Repaver, Public Gym Janitor, Pediatric ICU nurse.  There are others.  Can this be today's version of counting my blessings?  I am thankful I have what I have.  No one is starving, the bills are being paid, and I will have this job as long as I want it.   I'm still putting in an honest days work and trying not to bad mouth or gripe about my current job when I'm there.   The longer this goes on, more other jobs look better :0)

The short story is that me and the crazy dogs are fine, we're hanging in there.  Still planning on full-time by March 2012.  I will find you all out there.  Hope all is well, I haven't been able to follow blogs recently.  Take care and be gentle with yourselves. 

Wishing I had more Energy

I am doing quick update again.  I did not get the specific job I was applying for, the manager said he would keep my application on file and let me know if there is another opening.  After all the thinking & listing I did, before I applied for the job, I can't go back to the way things were.  I want to make the change, back to direct patient care.  Luckily, I still have a job, so no one is starving here :0)  If I had any doubt, I only have to take my personal test.  Ask myself, "If I knew for sure that I would die in 6 months, what would I do different?"  The answer is:  I would put this house on the market, buy whatever RV I could afford, and hit the road.   I can't do that for now, because I don't know for sure.  It does tell me I need to make changes as soon as possible.  Inertia is a hard thing to overcome.  It's so much easier, in the short run, to just keep the status quo.  Change takes cojones and energy.  I used to have cojones somewhere.  I'm working on both :0)  Hope all is well out there.  Take care and be gentle with each other. 

Yes, this May be My first big step.

Short update!  Just got back from interview for the new job.  I'm crazy nervous and excited.  I think the interview went well but only time will tell.  I'm a horrible liar so I was just up front with them about why I am leaving my current job.  I'm still on track to start full-timing by March 2012.  Current job schedule is still making me sleep deprived.  Most thankful today, for my RN.  Which means there will always be a job for me, anywhere & anytime.  In the current economy, that's invaluable.